I know, I served over 20 years in a very dangerous occupation, I mean, there were times , I wondered if I would make it home. I mean.. despite all the troops or sailors with you on deployments. I saw death, either by the heat of the Persian gulf, the stress of the life we lived or by casualties of war,, whats weird is that when your going through it,, You never realize how tough of life we lived.. I mean as sailors we lived in cramped , quarters and had to sleep next to people you liked or hated , but you learned to tolerate the jerks, and believe me, there is tons of those in the military,, but at the time I didn't realize what a stress it was to be under those conditions for Long period's of time does play havoc on your nerves, your emotions,your Psyche,,, In the military we taught to be macho , to be superman and despite the horror's that surrounded us.. I still recall .. no names. for respect to my shipmate,, but watching a shipmate die in front of you,, and feeling helpless to help.. I mean Im no doctor ,, and it was frustrating to see someone just fall to the ground,, and knowing its was over.. I try to erase those thoughts,, but no matter how hard ,, it cant go away.. How can it? I mean its somethimg you saw and witnessed,, that's why,, its better not to see things like that. because if does bother me, it does make me wonder about my own destiny,, But like the military does.we mourn our shipmates loss, and back to work.. yup.. its really strange how it works, but at the time,, didn't understand the insensitivity or lack of feeling.. but now... i realize,, we have to think that way,, we are taking care of expensive equipment and looking our for one another,, for all of us to be focused,, we cant cry,, well not too much. But it seems years later,, it does have a affect when you see people die, or get hurt or sent to emergency rooms. Its sad when people commit or try to commit suicide. It bothers me,, because I always thought I can make a difference,, I mean, during my days , I tried to make people smile and be happy.. even though I was hurting and more depressed than them. It was a responsibility and role I took on... because I did it well.. But it does take sit toll.. that for so many years I hid those fears and tears from others to give the impression I'm ok.. It was a tough time of my life,, but it was also a great one too.. The many laughs we had in port or doing working parties,, the many hazing events,, like getting promoted or getting your warfare pin.. blood pinning ceremonies,, what is that?
Blood pinning is taking your ware fare , removing the covers and sticking the pin against your chest.. and you let your closest buddies punch that pin into your chest,, what a a bunch of goons,,, we were,, I still recall the tacking of the crow. where once you get promoted , your shipmates get to punch your arm.. I recall.. I was hurt in the arm so hard and by so many people..I had a bruised and hurt arm.. that required medical attention.. I had a headaches for days and the bruising lasted just as long.. But it was a rite of passage we went through,,. I laugh now.. but at the time I had all those jerks that punched my arm or or chest during those days,, But pay back came when it was my turn,, and to be honest I punched my shipmates very hard and showed no mercy, what a jerk I became.. But if anything, it gave us a camaraderie a brotherhood,, that we did and performed the same duties as everyone else.. it was a true rite of passage,,, it was coming of age so to speak..But I know alot you could not , would not or allow oneself to do that and nothing wrong with that, Not everyone is built for the military life ,, and for just cause,, We are all wired different,, I was brought up under a military life style,, and no matter how I try to shake it it was already set and formed in my demeanor and attitude,, I have no qualms about that because I had a great time serving this great nation and I surely miss alot of my shipmates from the Camden , the Princeton , the Nimitz, the Peleliu, overseas japan and San Diego shore commands,, I made a impression ,, that will be forever entrenched in those minds that saw me,, perform my martial arts, my dancing , my impressions and of course my work ethic.. I know now,,, that there is nothing in my life that can match that life i lived and I'm thankful for all the memories and friendships I made during those times., It will always be the best time of my life and I'm thankful on this memory Monday to look back and relive those days I lived with you.. I have posted quite a few blogs regarding my military life and I encourage you to look into my blog site , because I have hundreds of stories, on my life experiences, and I'm happy when people read and give me feed back on alot of my stories,, Because , if anything they are real ,and heartfelt and a part of my life.. even though some of you may think why live that life? Well why do anything in life. we all go through this world doing what we feel is our destiny,, My was to serve and protect this country and I did it with honor,, and to that I salute all of my fellow sailor that have served with me.. If anything I try to make the ordeal,, the deployments, the working parties , the long watches, the exercises , the cleaning stations, the boredom, the fear , the training , the life we lived,, as fun as possible,, I know.. It wasn't the easiest life to live , but it was worthwhile and patriotic to serve this nation and be granted the benefits that I;m enjoying now.. So on this memory Monday I pray for the shipmates that have passed and I wish all peace , because ,, war is never like the movies, and being witness to death , is not what you think. It plays havoc on ones mind and always lingers in your thoughts..that's why... we tend to have a different perspective on war, on life, on sports,,, because we know.. life has its own agenda and we all are subject to mother nature or father time.. You cant beat them and you cant confuse them., Life will go on with you or without you,, and because of that,, I take each day as a gift from God,, Because today is a gift,, that's why they call it the " Present!" look for the good in people , but also be cautious of those that are evil.. Its something I learned about life..that you cant please everyone and you cant be liked by everyone, but you can control how you treat people and how you present yourself. I like to think I'm a positive and informational force to those looking for it..Because in today's world., we all need someone to turn to and talk to,, and we also need advice from everyone on anything and everything... On this Memory Monday,, I pledge everyone to be good to one another and be safe on the roads, because the life you save May be your own.. Have a great day and enjoy Life !!
THE SOURCE PRODUCTIONS @ 2015..
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