Learning to let go.. Inspired by my Bestie Joe..

Learning to let go.. Inspired by my bestie Joe..
 Yes, indeed, we all have grown up since the high school days , a lot of us have done careers and starting new ones, We have seen our children grow and seen them at proms and weddings and such.. But most of all we are seeing the cycle of life.. I know I have seen so many things in life, good , bad , sad and a lot of the times.. I wonder why? Why is life so cruel? I mean Why cant we always be in high school dreaming about what futures we will have.. How come our kids that when they were so young and cute , and adorable,, soon have to grow up so fast.. Life is fast..,? Not really ,, not if you spend your time doing what you like to do,,. Me.. I don't waste time with people who are losers or depressing, I like to be around positive people.. Just like my blood type.. B positive.. Its is and always be one of my endearing qualities. I like people that ha ambition, goals and aspirations about life.. I like people who are not afraid to explore and try new things.. I love meeting people of all races , creeds and back grounds.. I get off on that.. My travels to Germany , Thailand, middle east . the PI.. were always jam packed with fun and adventures,, Why? Because I'm a thrill seeker , I want to see the world and all it has to offer..
  But back to my original thought, Letting go.. Yes.. we have to let go of the past.. sure its good to remember those things so we don't repeat those mistakes,, but when it comes to music and clothing styles,, Let it go.. I loved the old school music, but I also like the new school stuff and I like what the new generation thinks about.. Its a better generation , because of all the technology and opportunities for discovery,,, Back in the day , we were limited in our desires and knowledge seeking.. But not today,, today fast , fresh and invigorating. Their thirst of knowledge is just a tap away on your phone or lap top.. We are privileged to so much these days.. But I also know letting go of past bad experiences has been the hardest block on my head.. I tend or I used to dwell on what people did or didn't do to me.. I was so concerned about what people thought of me..?
 But you know what? I don't care anymore.. I mean it doesn't matter how hard you try to persuade people about things, People are going to form their own opinions and thoughts.. Not everyone , thanks sis,.. are going to like you,, so stop trying to get people to like you.. I know its been a tough trait to control.. Because ?? yes.. ego.. I have such a large over the top ego.. that I feel why not? I mean why wouldn't you like me?? I dance, sing, act , tell great stories and above all just a fun person to be with.. But a lot of us,.., or you feel being a fun loving , cheerful guy is not manly or very adult like, Well.. when it comes to work, I'm a stickler to details and I have a very strong work ethic..
 But off work.. I like to relax..and be a teenager like personality..and I know that throws people off,, ??
 My guess is is this guy Bipolar,, or is this guy.. a con artist , an actor,, or what? My take we are all actors n this stage we call life.. We have play roles,, Parent , student , enforcer, volunteer,, lover of life.. and we all have to assume the position so to speak.. But when duty calls or when I'm off work.. I like to be that teenager like guy that likes to make people happy and smile.. I feel there isn't enough happy people in this world.. Too many people get caught up with the Real world , of bills, deadlines , stress, life , etc.. But you know,, what? Nothing in life is permanent.. Nothings stays the same. We are always changing..I mean thew 17 yr is different than the 43 yr old guy right.. I may look the same as weight is concerned and have a few more gray hairs.. But we all evolve and become true human beings.,, Letting go is the biggest step I have taken in regards to becoming the new me.. I'm letting go of grudges and hatred for those who have mistreated me , and I'm, letting go of all the hangups and issues about what I don't like about life.. I don't like traffic , but guess what? I have to deal with.. By listening to Sirius radio sports show.. I don't like long lines , so I talk to people in line.. I don't like cleaning house, so I crank up the music,,, and make it fun.. For me,.. Letting go of all my issues and concerns about things I cant control or things that have bothered me in the past.. Is the greatest gift I have learned during my transition to civilian life.. My besties Joe and Melanie have been my true conspirators and advisors.. I know they don't want any recognition for things I have done or changed my attitude.. But I want to thank them both.. Without them , I would be this over the top loud mouth and annoying guy looking for attention.. Well.. I'm still that attention slut , so to speak.. But , I'm calming down a bit, That's where letting go of all my demons . the ego, the hatred, the hang ups,, its a work in process , but I feel so liberated and happy to be me.. I love my life now.. I'm able to spend time with the true family and friends and be me.. Which is a fun loving person that likes to make people smile with either dancing , acting or telling my many stories.. I don't like people that are arrogant and rude.. and I don't like people that cant let things be.. Not everyone is gonna agree with you.. we have to learn to accept one another and learn form each other.. I'm always learning from people young and old.. I love my life.. I love my Wife , My kids and my Best friends.. they are so special to me.. Because I have finally let go of all the demons that have tried to hold me down.. I no longer harbor ill feelings to those that have done ill to me.. Why? Because life is too short to deal with that.. LIKE MY REAL LIFE MOTTO" BE TRUE TO THOSE THAT ARE TRUE TO YOU!! I really believe in that so much..
 Learning to let go.. it has been a refreshing and uplifting change to my personality. I have better things to do,,, like coach my kids football, and spend time with my true family and friends.. I know that we cant dwell on the past or worry about the future.... Be here now.. Deal with today. Because the past is gone forever and the future may never come!! live for today.. and enjoy the moments. Too many of us,, are never here,, if you are with someone ,, be with them.. not preoccupied with other thoughts... To me ,. that's so rude to be caught up on other things when you have a chance to sha
re time with people.. Be here , and be here now.. those are great words to live by and also.. Learn to let things go!! You will be happier for it!!
THE SOURCE PRODUCTONS @2013

My wifes - Best friend!!- Inspired by The Misawa crew,

My wifes - Best Friend - Inspired by Misawa crew...
 My wife's best friend is Nora and after what ?? 11 years or more we got to see her and I was impressed , its like she got prettier and happier than before,, But you know your special someone  be it wife , husband , mistress , boy friends or what. I really believe that if you have a great support group you have no other desire to look good and feel good. Nora was so fun to see again, to see my wife and her giggle and laugh and cry about everything , silly things and also see Marie another bestie from misawa,, That's why when she said come TO my house,, I know how that goes.. I said Why wait? Lets go.. so after the expensive dinner at the Brigantine in Coronado.. We left for her house,.,.
 But first the late afternoon in Coronado.. I had my boys and wife in my waxed up Muscle car,.. And the looks began in CORONADO,CA.. We saw Maserati's ,Porsche's, Maxed Benz, Muscle cars like Camaro , Mustangs,, But beauty with its shiny pitch black paint job and the red eye liner stripes flaming off the hood scoops.. Plus my new added tinted windows ,, well the car looked Knight rider, then all the gawking by pedestrians and car drivers , really fun day, and the young girls that walked across the street in front of beauty to give me thumbs up and smile like they saw a movie star.. I must say that's a thrilling experience,, That's the thing with this car,, everytime I crank it up ,, she is ready to show off and of course the owner obliges.. hehe. But the funniest moment because of my tinted windows and the length of my cat I asked my sexy wife who was wearing spandex like jeans , with sparkler's on her rear,, Well I must say my wifey is Hot,, and those three white guys in the car she stepped in front of.,. had a nice rear end shot of my car and my wifes'.. She said , those guys were staring and smiling wildly at me.. I said I know I saw their faces, But you know,, I don't care, they can stair , fantasize all they want, as long as they don't touch,, because That bad ass me, would whip their ass.. Like my father taught me, You fight to win, no such thing as being fair in a street fight. But they were young silly guys , who got a free show so to speak..
 Now back to my story.. as I cruise to another bestie from Misawa, I was so thrilled to see old friends just talk and talk,, and even after 11 years, its like gthey never missed a beat,, Just like my friend Joe, we haventy spoken in months,, But a week ago, I broke the silence and we never missed a beat.. I'm looking forward to getting with him and do a bike ride,, 
  But back to my story seeing my wife so happy as they retell the experiences we had in japan, I must admit those were some of ther best times of my life, I guess because we were in a foreign land, we got so close to one another and we shared so many great times, We had parties almost every weekend, and we were " obligated to attend/! and of course I did my thang!!

 But one the cutest moments was when My son and his girlfriend? got reunited and share a bonding moment occurred , watching two young people giggle and laugh at old photos back in the day was so cute,, well in one pic the girl was blowing a kiss to my son at one or all his birthday parties,, and my son was " labeled the bad boy" the bully , the bad ass, hmm I wonder where he got that from.. but anyways.. It was so refreshing ro see old friends just talk and laugh even after all those years,, That's the thing about true friendship,,no matter how long u don't talk , or how far you are from one another , when you chat , or call or see each other.. Its a a bonding and great moment.. I know we love our family , especially our kids, but we all know they will leave gthe nest and go their separate ways.. that's when your special someone or best friends come into play.. I have many best friends , I mean I have my high school bestie, I have my wife best friend.. and of course my Ate, my big sister friend,, All of them,, I love you guys,, You have inspired me, lectured me and of course let me know when my big ego or ego trip gets too much.. I mean.. I know they wonder or are so scared about my actions,, Well thanks guys.. I realize now,, that as time goes by and we get older , the one thing we are so scared of losing , is time on earth.. The time to be with family to be there for senior years, and college years,.. marriage and of course kids.. we as parents all want to share that experience in our kids life.. and that's why We so in touch with them.. We know they will make mistakes and get hurt , but as parents and friends we support them and guide them.. and the night I spent with monas besties was so cool and refreshing it was the laughs and looks on their faces that may be think of my best friends and now understand why others think,, Are u guys ok? That's the thing,, when you are so connected you just talk about nothing and its good enough,, because you just have this bond of friendship that makes you happy to be alive.. That's one thing I cherish more than anything else is my close friendship with my wife and her understanding that I enjoy the company of women,, not for sex, but just expressions of myself,. I know my touchy feely and too close for comfort easy going personality.. scares some of my relatives,, Buts that's ok.. Its me.. I like to be a flirt, I like to be showy and friendly.. I will never change and I'm happy with the way I am.. and I'm so happy to see My wife even for one night share the many years of happiness we had in Japan with one her dearest and closet friends,, Nora,, from the bottom of my heart. I want to thank you for all you did for my wife and kids.. they love you so much.. You know how stressful the military life can be,, But one thing I was able to count on was.. " How you loved Marty " Binky".. I don't have enough money or words to say How grateful I am to your endless love and care for my wife and kids,, That's why when I heard you were town,, I said for reals.. lets meet up and enjoy!! and we did,, Thanks Nora,, your not only my wife's best friend , but a true caretaker of my son Marty and my family.. I love you Nora,, without , I know I could not have survived all the turmoil , that I was going through with My wife and kid almost dying at birth.. I thank GOD for his hands of healing on them and eventually on me.. It Will be a wonderful night I will cherish forever and I'm looking forward in seeing you guys again!!!
 for those that have best friends,, be thankful.. Because having true friends are a treasure indeed and after a night out with them, Showed me,, true besties never lose touch no matter where they live or what? I saw that tonight and I'm thankful.. My bestie are neighbors but a 90 minute ride to San Diego or Redondo Beach is not bad compared to East coast or the PI.. Enjoy the true friendships and never take it for granted,.. Cherish them like you would your kids.. importance in life,,,
THE SOURCE PRODUCTIONS @ 2013
 

BLACK BEAUTY MEETS - THE BIG TWO'S- INSPIRED BY poeple I know..

BLACK BEAUTY MEETS THE BIG TWO'S -63 CORVETTE , 04 MUSTANG MACH 1 ..
 Well I want to thank my fellow Muscle car guys, Bud and Josh, they made a photo day into a raising havoc on the streets of Chula Vista,, I must say, getting the oohss and aws.. and of course the extended looks or damn right staring was... awesome.. I mean all of us , if you can tell by the endless photos we took of each others cars .. we love our cars.. Some of us way more than I can do,, Like not letting people not eat,, sorry , I have to eat and if your too strict , I doubt we could take a long trip in your ride, or you gonna make a lot of stops so I can eat or snack. Just me, but  even if I owned a Ferrari,, I'm gonna eat , or snack in my car,, but that's me,, We all choose to be whatever you want..
 Well it was a cool day, we took a drive to Otay Lakes where , I video taped and took picture's of all of our rides, But the issue now we needed someone to take a photo of all of us.,posing in front of all cars..
  Josh a older couple and they were the sweetest and nicest people I ever met , I mean you could see form their eyes, they were smiling with great joy looking all the variety of cars displayed , the older lady said I thought there was car show,, wow ,, instant car show . haha
 But anyways, she then asked who owned the black car,,I quietly said .That's mine,, she walked over to me and grabbed my arm and said : I love your car.. and I said " thank you , they are all beautiful cars. yes, she said" but your reminds me of 69 black Camaro , my boyfriend had and oh that was a beauty.. I said " O h yes that's my favorite years for the Camaro's,, she was so happy and thrilled and I mean even for a moment , she could tell it made her feel young again. That's the thing I noticed when people see cars like a Retro looking Mustang, or Corvette or my Challenger,, people instantly go back in time, and think where was I when I saw that style Mustang or Vette, and of course the flood gates f memories come flowing out..
 I know the guys I cruised around at least a few hours on that sunny day in chula vista , felt like the days growing up driving fast , on open roads and blasting the classic Van Halen , Kansas, or Boston tunes.. aw.. those days,, But for us, we were able to relive those days,, Of course we were driving fast on the lakes and I recorded a gone in 60 seconds experience. I know the best part of the day was just going around town and seeing our smiling faces as we drove around with a freshly waxed cars and wearing our shades and just even for a few hours looking cool. But I know there was some people that were irritated with us, like this one yuppie , snobbish guy driving a white range rover, yea,, I hope you like the burn out near you,, I just wanted to say Hi,, I mean geez man, I wanted to be information with my guys , but u had to speed up like a jerk.. Well I hope you like the white smoke I made s it covered your whole suv..hehe,, I'm not sorry,, in fact I see you again You will see a repeat performance.. Get a life dude,, I mean we are responsible adults with great careers and lives and family lives and you want to be a jerk.. Well Karma is a bitch then you die!! mean,.. well so be it,,
 Lastly , the Big 3. as Bud calls it,, His description of each ride,.,.
THE MUSTANG - a fast and agile car looking like its ready to attack the streets and with its attention grabbing red and black stripe.. He just looks so fast and furious,,.!!
THE VETTES- The classic lines from the old days,, its a smaller car , but the power and sound of the engine made you wonder how it would of been back in 1963, I bet it was the ultimate experience for those lucky few back in the day.. Love the lines and of course the powder ocean blue color,, California Dreamin,, huh??
THE CHALLENGER - SIMPLY THE BEAST-- OF BEAUTY,,,, its simply a big car that looks like it wants to own the road... enough said, right?
 NOW that was one of the best times I have had in awhile,, I mean pop locking with friends or mountain biking with bestie is cool too, but nothing beats taking muscle cars on a open road and letting us push our cars.. a wonderful day ,, and perhaps we can do that again. but we all know how life is so busy.,. MY eldest starts college, and the youngest will be playing tackle football and I Will assist in coaching and lets not forget I start college to begin my new career path.. Busy , busy and just finding time to enjoy myself.. will be an adventure,, But atleast for these few hours in Mar 2013, I was able to relive those days when driving fast cars and having the young girls.. go crazy about our cars we used to drive,, What a blast and what a day,,, I know Chula Vista will never be the same, I MEAN its was like scene from the movie fast and furious, the fast cars going down the road.., weaving around and looking good. But those haters and I saw their faces as I zoomed by,, chill out, we are boys of summer and we catch the spring thing ,, spring fever.. we want to show off our cool rides,, Maybe you folks need to look into muscle cars , instead in your quiet ass , boring luxury cars,, But its ok.. just remember when you see the big 3 again,, LIKE MOPAR MEANING "" MOVE OVER PEOPLE ARE RACING!!" HAHA,,Take care and enjoy life it goes by as fast as we drive our muscle cars..
THE SOURCE PRODUCTIONS @ 2013

BLACK BEAUTY MEETS ALVIN O'S..Inspired story by Alvin..

BLACK BEAUTY MEETS ALVIN O'S.. INSPIRED STORY BY ALVIN
  March 19 ,2013 will mark the day Beauty got her tint on.. It was a wonderful day , started out foggy , but as soon as I rolled up with Beauty and greeted my long time friend who is more like a Brother In fact I get along with him better than my real brothers,, I know that may hurt them , but you cant deny the connection we have..
 But anyways back to the tint job. The owner Alvin was courteous and showed me the different shades of tint and of course I asked him what he thought was best. Then before you know it I was filling out the paper work and he ,, was working on beauty,, I told him I consider it a honor that he took it upon himself to take care of a dear friend. I was impressed with his attention to detail and his work ethic. I know I was annoying him with my banter and stories he has heard a million times back in the day, but I must say his concentration level is amazing, Not only was he working on the tint , but he was taking calls and still listening to me.
 What impressed me is that he was so precise and diligent in the way he did the whole car, he showed and explained things I don't understand , but I appreciate it, and he was faster than I thought he could be. Not only did he tint the windows , but completely detailed my car inside and out. Now I understand why he charges so much. But my motto is simple you get what you pay for.. I have in the past gone with cheaper tint companies.. In the end,, I was impressed with Alvin O's , not only by his workmanship , but his pride in his work and his passion for what his does,. He has this tremendous pride in his workmanship, and understands, the best advertisement is word of mouth, and well I'm spreading the word to all my friends in San Diego, Temecula , Long Beach , Los Angeles, Redondo Beach ,Imperial Beach, and abroad and of course across the United States of America.. If you looking for the highest quality of workmanship and a honesty and sincerity you rarely find in friendship. Then Alvin O's is the shop for your detailing and window tint needs!!
  Alvins O's has my biggest endorsement for quality of work, and attention to detail, he made sure that all the trimmings and trash were out of my car and when he was done , he was detailing the car himself. What impressed me is that he is a hands on owner and a honest and sincere one too. He answered all my questions and concerns and let me know what to expect and if any issues comes up , please feel free to visit him. He put me at ease and I have no regrets that I paid premium price for premium work. His sidekicks were funny and comfortable to joke around with.. I really felt like they treated me like a old friend and afterwards.. We ate some of the best burritos I have ever eaten , I mean ever!! I may pay him visit next time to check on my tint and treat him to a awesome lunch,, ..
 Lastly, I want to say , I have high standards for beauty and use only the highest quality of materials, everything in the car and Outside is high end materials and I just got a luxury looking tint job that not only attracts the casual customer like myself , but dealerships, and that's saying a lot if those types of companies respect and demand his quality of work.
 The day was special because I was reunited with a brother like friend and drove off feeling like a million dollars,,even though every time I say a cop , I rolled down the windows,, haha, oh well the price to pay for having a bad ass car.. and I have to thank Alvin and his crew.. for making this a cool day to remember and I have the utmost respect for his business style and sincerity in his work and compassion for human beings.. He is not only a top notch detailer , but he is a true gentlemen , I call brother.. THANKS FOR THE AWESOME JOB ON BEAUTY and rest assured I will proudly proclaim who did the Tint job and  is second to none!! Black beauty meets Alvin O's and it's was a awesome day!!! until my next beauty blog.. Take Care always!!!
THE SOURCE PRODUCTIONS @ 2013

Happy Birthday to Black Beauty. Mar 17,2012,,

Happy birthday to Black Beauty,(the other woman- the mistrtess!) Mar 17,2012
 It was a cold and raining day in Temecula Valley,wifey decided its time to get My dream Muscle car.. At the time I already test drove the Camaro, the Mustang - the Charger. but on this very day ..Wifey said Lets do it.. Get that car of your dreams..well within our budget..
 I mean everyone would love to get the Ferrari's pr Porsches or Audi's of the world,, But that's a lot of bones to break.. so to speak, a lot of money ..
 So , after a quick pre approved loan Navy Fed. off we went.. and We stopped at Temecula Dodge and Jeep and we look at quite a few Challengers,, I was looking at a black one with black stripe and the kragar chrome wheels. old school to the max..
 But wifey caught the very last challenger at the end of the row..
 There she was a black , or should I say a pitch black 2012 DODGE CHALLENGER with RED ACCENT STRIPES coming from the hood scoops .. It was a sight to behold.. Sexy , mean , and Just yelled attention grabber.
 and the rest is history.. The test drive  DREARY COLD RAINY ST PA TRICKS DAY, but it was perfect for our spin outs and burning rubber in the rain. In fact you produce a lot more smoke from the tires when you do it when the road is wet..
 Happy Birthday Black beauty is just one year you have treated me like a King ans always performed on que,, Except that BJ's party in Chula Vista with video evidence,, It was more my fault thans yours. baby.
 Black beauty is more than a car to mer , shes a girl friend , the other woman, the mistress, I spend more time with her than my wife. I wash her , wax her and pamper her, not that I don't do that to my wife, But black beauty has captured my heart and I'm so into her,, Every time I take her out , like a young and wild horse she is ready to roll..
  I cant wait until the windows get tinted and I get those mean lean black zinik 32 wheels,, The care will be complete , or I also need the SUPER 44 MAGNO FLOW MUFFLER to give it that extra roar like The Term Challenger represents..
UNTIL THE NEXT BLOG..
THE SOURCE PRODUCTONS @ 2013

Nothing is perfect.. Inspired by everyone!!

Nothing is perfect.. Inspired by Everyone!!
 If you lived for any amount of time,, We all make mistakes,, run a red light ot make illegal turns,.., We forget to pay bills we call someone a bitch.. We get mad..then we apologize,, and then,, we do it again,, But hey,, that's life.. if you are so egotistical that you cant take a joke than you need to chill ,, as long the jokes are not offending right? I mean when it comes jobs,, or career a lot of us, take that serious,, and that's I never ever go there,.,. But as far a other jokes, anything goes> Not really, we all have sensitivity levels. So you need test the waters, before going full blown..
 But most of all , you must humble yourself. No one is better than anyone else.. well.. just kidding., We all want the same things out of life. we want a happy family , a beautiful home, and of course the best of friends.. We only go through party line once.. so enjoy life and why hate or have anger? Right? Its not good for your heart , your mind your spirit and it hurts the family..
 My family s awesome,, they are funny , talented, and most off family,, sure we make fun, but we all know is all in good right.. But then again,, Not everyone is like you right? Even in family,, but one things is for sure.. We have to be flexible about feelings and ideas.. Sure not everyone is going to agree about religion , politics , or money or sports.. we have opinions and views,, and guess what if anyone here knew anything about sports . we would be rich.. MY view on sports is part participant once upon a time to youth football coaching,, I see the sport a little different than most folks,, I lived the both lives... But one thing is for sure athletes make exorbitant amounts of money.. And you think they give a rats ass what Mel thinks in San Diego.. I'm not paying them. so they could care less...
  So in a word.. We should not be so high Almighty.. no one , and I mean it.. No one is perfect ,, and to think that way,, your gonna be lonely , because a lot us... screw up all the time,. so enjoy life you think your gonna have a lot friends.. and One more thing.. Just because we have different points of view.. still respect one another,, we agree to disagree,, that's what makes life so diverse and specifically,, because we all different.. Some of us love American Muscle cars, other love the European styling , others the Japanese tuner cars, or luxury cars from all the brands.. We al have special wants and needs and for anyone to think,, their views are the right ones..Come on get off your ego trip..
 I realize that sometimes you cant figure people out , after a few parties or meetings.. Its takes a lot of time .. and in the end..  nothing including friendships can be perfect. we are humans and we are prone to say or do things that hurt even our best friends. I know hurting someone, directly or indirectly is a horrible feeling and To be honest I don't like doing this.. But I also realize that insecurity or lack of belief can get people annoyed. I'm learning that the hard way.. That sometimes you just have to let go of the past hardships and judge what you have today as the basis to treat people, I realize just tonight that nothing is perfect , nothing is assured and that enjoying what you have with anyone , right now right here is the most important time to enjoy. Don't worry about the past , you cant change that, and don't worry about the future , because even that is so elusive..
 Nothing is perfect and to think that you can control what others think , then you are lost in fantasy and not in reality.
 The reality is , no one is perfect , no one is above mistakes and saying stupid things. We all live and learn and we all must adjust to what others and life throws at you. Life is no bed of roses, but instead a battle for survival and the fittest of the fit.. and I'm learning that , you must be prepared for any and all issues and respond accordingly. If not, then you lose and become a pathetic excuse of a human being. Nothing in life worth keeping, is easy.. Everything needs the proper Care and attention.
 Nothing is perfect and indeed for those who think they will find a perfect whatever , than you are really living a pipe dream and heading towards a open road with no lights on and no destination.
 You have to stay focused and do what you feel is meant for you.. and not someone else feels is right for you.. You are the master of your destiny!! and nothing in life is perfect!!!
THE SOURCE PRODCUTIONS @ 2013

REAL LOVE IS.. INSPIRED BY SOMEONE i KNOW..

TRUE LOVE IS.. INSPIRED BY SOMEONE I KNOW..
 True love is something that is freely given between two people. They do or perform things because they want and they feels respect and honor for the other person. True Love conquers all. Including temptation or feelings of lust.. I mean.. I'm a man and we al enjoy looking at pretty woman or man if that's you choice. But its when you act on those impulses and decide getting minutes of pleasure is worth destroying a lifetime of marriage,, Not smart and shame on you.. I mean.. Why? Cheat ? If you love the life you have why? For moments of pleasure,, Its not worth it and a lot of times useless. BUT a lot of men are foolish and reckless with their lives and thus they get what they make. I know a lot of you don't like to hear that but , we all make choices and decisions in life and its up to people to decide whats important , moments of pleasure or a true relationship. Like my friend always tells me, there is no perfect marriage or relationship.. I have lived pretty long and that is so true, and those that think bouncing around from relationship to relationship . Is the way to learn how to have better ones, usually doesn't work that way.. People only apologize when they are caught and they see the effect of their comments or what.. Your true colors come out under stress or distress.. People who are afraid of something usually have something to hide..People that have big ego's are hiding behind a sensitive and insecure side.. Why? because I do that .. I walk around with this bigger than life persona and trying to over show what a bad ass I am.. I mean sure I skilled at fighting and I can whip ass, but do I need to show it. I mean its a disease or condition we call alpha male,, I know when work out every day lifting weights and punching the bag,. I get this adrenaline rush,, and its so overwhelming,, I wonder why I feel this way./. But its that rush you get after a work out,, The problem with me,, instead of listening to music or watching tv.. I jump on my blog and blog away.. Why? Perhaps its therapy.. Maybe its just creative instincts or maybe it because I''m a attention junkie.. I have been one for my whole life,, Good or bad any attention is what I want and desire..But a lot of you take the written word to serious, I mean who cares what I think right? I'm one man among millions, and the same goes to you,,If you don't like something..thats ok.. but atleast show respect for the other person.. I'm a simple guy... be true to me,, and we are good,. betray me.. yea ok,, forgive,, but never forget.. I mean,, Isn't that what your taught in school , Remember history so you don't repeat it. But we all know we are only humans, and we will make mistakes, and do dumb things,, But when you know what your doing is wrong, then why do it.. If you you know its improper then why insist on doing things? Its simple .. you have no respect or honor in the people you are dealing with.. The family that's has embraced me, love me dearly because I may make joikes , but I also make fun of myself,, and they laugh with me,, Others like to think they are funny , but dissing people or cultural differences.. when in reality,, it just shows your an arrogant , self righteous bigot that is pissed at his life and what should of or could of been.. ? But we are adults and we all make the choices in life , and we all have to deal with whatever .. you know what I mean.. Life is not a guarantee, every day is a struggle to deal with finances, with health, with family affairs.. 
 Real love is never having to say your sorry , real love , waits before they speak, cares about the other persons needs and real love is so hard to find.. Many have lived and died in the search of Real LOVE.. REAL LOVE IS DEVELOPED AND PROTECTED THROUGH THOUGHT AND PERSONAL CONVICTION.. When people love each other its because they understand one another , they accept one another and they share their thoughts and dreams with one another. Love is a powerful addiction for those who found it and lost it.. Some never ever find true love while others search all their lives to find true love or real love.. Real is is given freely and not with demands or ultimatums.. People in love do for one another because they feel a connection .. Once that connection is lost,, nothing can bring it back, not money , not sex ,not anything.. People who find real love are scared to lose it,, and thus they protect and preserve it .. and the friends that help you preserve your marriage and family life are the ones that are protecting the family..
 Real love if you find it , don't destroy it or take it for granted,, because many people would love to have Real loves.. All the success in life in career in child raising.. are fulfilling but the treasure of Real love is something that is so elusive for so many people , that when others who have lost it and see it from others,, they feel envy, they feel messed up and lonely.. But guess what,, ? If you made the mess than its up to you to clean it up.. and by hurting others,, you just alienating the whole family that wants to be happy, but lets face it.. We don't like how things have been,, and I'm sure you feel it,, But its all on you,, Because the family is was doing fine before you came into our circle and I 100% positive we will be fine,,
 The ball is in your court,., you have to let those angry emotions about that person go,, because its clear a lot of us don't feel comfortable around you,, and I WONDER WHY?? dancing and singing is gay.. Well .. I rather sing and dance then drink alcohol all night and talk about high school drag racing,,, or what? Its gets old fast.. I realized that as much I enjoyed those days,, I love today,,,I love today's music, today's movies , today's vibe.. We have to live for today,, Because that's real Love.. real love is up to date is pertinent its in vogue.. Real Love is something we all want to have and keep , but you have to Gain and preserve love in order to To have it.. Real Love happens because people care for one another.. Its not forced.. Its like running water flows so smoothly and never ends.. every day , every moment , every time you see each other...
REAL LOVE IS....
THE SOURCE PRODUCTIONS @ 2013

TOO FAST FOR LOVE- INSPIRED BY ONE OF EX GIRLS..

TOO FAST FOR LOVE.. INSPIRED BY ONE OF EX'S....
 This girl was somethings else,, Pretty as angel.. but as evil as the devil. I mean she played me like like a bad checker's game. She was older , wiser , smarter and been through the rings a few times.. But I thought the Cocky arrogant Mel could tame her,, Yea right? The only thing I got was 6 years of mental anguish, an empty wallet and wasted time.. and Tremendous anger towards even after all these years. I mean its one thing to play around and such. But to play or toy with people emotions,, was mean AND CRUEL,. but I was sucker for love.. Yea.. Love.. a silly word.. when your the only thinking that way.. I mean it started well, but once she found I was a flirt , attention go getter.. She would put up the ante.. She would out do, at drinking , at strip pole dancing,, She wore the shortest and tightest ever made I mean she looked hot, But the attention he got was well.. too much.. Well she did say to me,, "Whats comes around goes around!! I mean The harder I tried to out do her, she would trump me big time, I recall at Seaport village , we were dancing but she made into a strip tease dirty dancing..,. and well.. I know when to stop, as for her ,, stop meant don't stop!! We would have the craziest fights ever.. In pubic, in private.. Her friends would say you guys are going to kill each other.. Well we never laid hands on each other , but the waving hands AND MIDDLE FINGERS,, were in full force.. I recall we got into it.. in a Public Park.. The cops asked to leave , well it didn't help it was 2 am.. after clubbing in TJ.. I mean those were days,, She looked hot and I was in the prime of looks and dancing,, But that's the one thing she loved was my dancing,, but she didn't like gthe other girls,, getting front of her to dance with me. and of course me, enjoying the attention,, then she would retatilate,, it was a wild,, relationship.. It was never a calm moment.It seemed if it wasn't I was wearing , and how I talked to her pretty friends.. I mean.. I talked to one of her friends when she was only wearing bath robe,, I mean,, I didn't mind,,But when she found out,, Oh hell.. she said one thing to argue ,but to visit one of my friends is not cool.. I said,, You wouldn't talk to me,, What do you expect me to do,, She answered I expect you to respect my privacy, bring up issues with a casual friend, and I don't even like the bitch... Then.. the talk of you want her don't you,, Well,, I mean,, I was a young and naïve, and she was the older woman.. Her words,, your a fawkenstuck high school jerk. Grow the fawk up,, Me,, looks whose talking.. Yes,.,. this romance was filled wit crazy emotions,, and little understanding, I think the issue was we were too much alike, I mean.. She laughed to dress up and look good, she loved attention,, ashe loved to dance and sing.. She was a teaser and flirt,, and I was too. We were unstoppable.. but I keep coming back for more, even though she messed with my emotions and so many levels.. But the ultimate insult was those 6 years was a joke, it was a farce,, and that was made me upset, and go into tailspin, where I became her.. I would date and break womens hearts and dance with whoever and whatever.. I mean,, When you can out dance a stripper , then that's saying something,, but when the stripper wants to go home with you, then when the girl friend says.. that's too much.. But I love dancing ,, but I guess I get so caught up in the dance routine and the winking, and flirting,, I forget that sometimes woman take such subtle flirty moves as you want them,.. I know it has happened too many times at strip clubs,, in fact.. I bet I can still dance or keep up with a lot of strippers..
  But this older , wiser girl took advantage of this young naïve kid.and because of that heart break,, I became the heart break.. and I vowed to never mess with older woman,,
 Older woman especially the ones that have been around the block, know how to manipulate men and they know how to turn on the charm.. and get men go wild,, Me,.. I learned that if a woman,, wants to mess with you,, they can,, and even you think you can out clever ,, yhou cant'.. I had to find out the hard way.. But its ok,, I will never ever.. be tricked or played by older woman,,
 Well , first of all I'm married to the sweetest and coolest wife, and we have gone through too much turmoil and pain, to let her go,, But I ain't gonna lie.. So many have tried, and I have resisted ,, and I still feel I can.... But for the Too fast for love girl that played me like a old guitar,, I was sucker.. and I'm wiser , smarter , stronger and more careful.. to mess with womans emotions,,
 Right now I have a wonderful wife and best friend like sister that are guiding me to be the man I know I can..
 THE SOURCE PRODUCTIONS @ 2013

I HATE TROLLS.. inspired by facebook trolls..

I hate Facebook Trolls. Inspired by facebook trolls.
  Too many people are trolls , too many like to crash the timelines or postings,, Wheres the invite? Why do you think you are to engage in convo's that don't pertain. If you don't speak the lingo or language .. Then don't engage.. When post things a lot of times its attended for that person,, We have our own code words and expressions,, So when your dumb ass try to get into .. Its not only freaking funny , but its also pathetic on your part..
 Another thing if you don't like a race or a culture or certain music and such,.. Shut up! Go run around with those white sheet wearing old fashioned ignorant fools that doomed to hell. Because we angels of mercy and displayers of fun,, have no time well atleast I don't.. I post things for my real friends,. an if they pretty girls that love zumba,, How dare you insult me or them.. Because you cant do or so macho that you don't want to do it.. Because believe me I a trained street fighter and weapons expert,, I can fight ,, but now,, since my wife and besties and my brothers and sisters are important and I take care of my family and friends.. Human emotions are delicate you hurt someone
BECAUSE you screwed up.. then that's you.. and if someone hurt you , take it out on them ,, Not family ,, because I know I have forgiven people,, but it doesn't mean things can go back like it was..
Nothing last forever.. unless you are my friend and in that case I treat my lover and my friends with the same respect. I don't want to anger them , disappoint them or what.. I think before I leap.. well most of the time,, But for those that think making rude comments is the way to keep friends,, Well sorry dumb ass.. your only thing you gonna get is my foot so far your ass you will be able to bite my toes. For reals,,
 I know My image is confusing,, one day one posting love stories, or funny ones and then heres comes this in your face blog. But isn't life like that. we have to take the good and bad,, and every relationship is not perfect,, for anyone looking for that then you will never be happy.. Your chasing a dream a fantasy,, and people that's gonna go no where!!!??
 For you trolls.. think about what you post.. If no invite stay out of it,, Its none of your freaking business,, but usually arrogant clowns,don't get it,, and never will. Hey if you happy being a rude , disrespectful.. then go drink you expensive alcohol and listen to those old out of date music , that seems to fit in with your out of date thinking,,
 Today men and women are looking for connections, not macho , arrogant people that think its cool to make comments,, Man.. I wouldn't want to go to dinner listening to those types of comments and I'm sure the other people don't either... I hate to say this,, But people that have so much hate in their heart your going to go down,, because alcohol is not the answer,,,Your as empty as the bottle you finished. then you drink more and more, for what? I KNOW .. I USED TO DRINK like a fish,, but I realize now,, I don't need it and I'm happy.. My family and friends love me better.. and to be honest I'm too,., But...... One or two wont hurt..haha..
 Well .. to those mental head cases that post useless things especially the ones that one the sympathy trip.. Who cares if your hurtin? We all hurt,, Get over it already.. He the truth hurts.. and a lot of people. including my family and friends,, can't handle the truth or rejection.. No means No.. and true family don't want to ruin relationships.. But then again.. You cant a old dirty cheating dog new tricks.. One thing Iam.. a honest and sincere man.. That's why My wife and her brothers and sisters love me, because I leave my emotions like a open a book,, I don't need to vent useless hurtful hateful thoughts towards groups.. My Mexican brothers saved me many times when I was acting up back in the day and My bestie and baby brother are married to beautiful Mexican woman... My dearly mama spoke fluent Spanish.. and why I love the Mexican culture , the food the music.. the fighting spirit.. I also love my Asian brothers too and my pop locking soul brothers.. Without my friendships with my black friends back in the day., I would never have been the great street dancer that I am today,,,, There you go.. I only believe in one race.. The Human race.. and for those that think otherwise.. Go back to little small town and embellish you hateful ideas there because this if California,, The melting pot of all cultures.. So trolls. taggers , haters.. go crawl back Into your little pathetic mind set and enjoy life.. I have no time for you!!
THE SOURCE PRODUCTIONS @ 2013

THE LIVING WILL- by Mel Paras...

The Living Will- By Mel Paras.........
  Here is last testament to what I want when I die.....
1) To my beloved wife MONA.. Don't hook me up to a life prolonging machine, if I'm a vegetable or physically unable to do what I love to .. dance , write , sing , then I'm as good a s dead!!!

2) My body organs I wanted donated and if he can save or prolong another persons life .. What better way to keep Mel's legacy.. Go for it..

3) My earthly possessions go to my wife Mona and my wonderful sons Brandon and Marty..

4) Now my funeral services:
    My Mentor and great friend and family party side kick.. FABZ..
 Play my fave song " oh Donna , but replace the words to Mona..
Be happy and make the event is a celebration of my life.. I want smiles and laughter..
    My Mona-- if you can muster the strength to speak.. Please be happy and smile,, Celebrate what I did and Tell about how I brought a dying baby Martin back , just like I promised.. How I fought and argued with those jealous people who tried to ruin our marriage with rumors and such... Talk about how much I did , instead of how much you gonna miss me.. I know I wasn't the easiest man to live with the big smiles and my child like heart and easy going personality that attracted many women.. and The many temptations I had to resist.. Because I love you and no other will ever replace you and I will watch over you if the lord takes me to heaven... I love you.. Smiles babes..
  My sons Brandon and Marty- I would love you strong men to do me favor.. Speak proudly of your dad and do one last dance.. and keep my legacy alive by living the way I taught you.. Respect women and avoid those insensitive , and male chauvinist arrogant pigs that think. Women are the demons.. The only demons are the ones I battled throughout my life.. Thinking too much, being too creative.. Being unselfish.. Thinking about others even though I didn't take care of my self. Like not eating , or sleeping or resting .. The attention addiction its what probably finished my life.....Be happy and pay tribute to your dad by.. Doing a great dance.. oh, play music throughout the service .. old school... Keep the mood happy.. Its the memory on the day I'm finally put to the rest..
  My Best friend Joe- I know I wasn't the easiest friend to have. The Drama KIng, The ultimate Actor , the clown,, the buffoon, the thinker , the dancer , singer  ,, the whatever you wanted to be,.. I want you to share the good times and like I told everyone else,,, Be happy. don't you dare cry when I never saw it when I was alive,, Be Happy and smiles!!
 Celebrate how I loved to entertain people on facebook or youtube or my world wide blog.. In the end ,, I realize those passions and desire to perform is what finally did me in.. The lack of sleep , the forgetting to take my high blood meds.. The head aches and other pains I would jokely tell u, but it was signs my body was breaking down and I was about to drop dead from exhaustion.. Well The Dr's warned me , but Everyone knows I'm a hard headed and stubborn.. and because that.. The pains that Heath Ledger felt. during his last days,. I understand.. I feel like the world looks at me like a freak.. and perhaps I am.. and Lord,, if I should die before I wake I pray to lord for my soul to keep... My whole life I was searching for the peace and when I finally found it.. Its too late.. My farewell to my family and friends.. Don't you dare cry at my funeral... I will haunt you all forever.. !!  Take care until my next blog....
THE SOURCE PRODUCTIONS @ 2013

A females true best friend is their Daughter,,Inspired by someone I know..

A female best friend is their daughter or son. Inspired by someone I know..
 I have lived a rather diverse life and been around the world and experienced many situations, But one thing that is clear.. A mothers love for her kids is no match for any man,, If you cant deal with the fact the kids are priority over you, than your gonna get divorced whether you cheated or not.. But mean a lot of them rather cheat and get the marriage over than,, try to work things out? I mean lets face it.. as women get older they begin think about child birth and how painful that time was and how raising kids and seeing them grow up.. It's tough on a woman, and I have to admit women that are strong minded and keep focused on their jobs is really a powerful example of girl power.. I know a lot of men.. who may be insecure or even threatened by a independent and strong women. Its tough for the male ego to accept a woman's power.. When it comes to letting a woman drive,.,, I'm ok with that. But I know a lot of the alpha males want to be the aggressor the hunter.. and in that case.. women with strong successful careers , often suffer in the love department, I mean they can be sweet , but they ARE ALSO.. very demanding form their loved ones. As for me,. I realize a wise person takes advice from those who have been there. I know I have learned many lessons by the mistakes from others.. I know I have made many in My life and love to share them with my kids.. The kids in our lives understand and love their parents, but they also realize that parents are individuals with different personas and attitudes.. One parent is the enforcer the other one is the playful one,, But what happens when both are enforcers,, Then the kids are suffocated and often leave home disgruntled and unloved.. But women ,, especially successful ones know what they want , say what they want and get what they want. They don't care or care less about others think.. Do I think that's attractive? Yes , in the modern man image,, But the old fashioned guy always feel the guy is the boss and the women is second class citizen..
 I believe as the women get older and their kids get older especially their daughter's,, those become their true best friends,, and I'm good with that. and I feel if your married and have adult kids you have to deal with that.. I saw that when my eldest brother was my mom's best friend,, Papa felt left out,, and not so much papa didn't love mama, but when you lose that connection when someone it's over and its hard to bring it back,, That's why successful women as they get older ,, want their daughters as their true best friend.. Which is healthy, I mean they are women , they understand each others moods and thoughts. Men,, well most men,, are so into cars and sports and guy stuff.. Women,, are into feelings , emotions and having a connection with someone.. Its rare to click with someone , I know I haven't found anyone that is like me.. well , until now,, but even then I understand her emotion's and train of thought as she speaks about her daughter,, that's why I don't interfere or ever will when its their time to bond and have fun.. I mean a true friend lets their friend have their space and share happiness.. When a friend does that,, when its their time, its so much more special because both friends have taken care of their emotional needs.. When a women feels connected to someone especially after so many years of loneliness and soul searching,, that woman will not let go of that person.. why? Because they know those types of connections are so rare.. and because of that they wont let go that person,, guy or girl.. It doesn't have to have a sexual connection to make it so precious , but its that heartfelt , passionate , and caring thoughtfulness that makes the woman yearn for that friend.. But like I said as older woman get older and their kids get older .. those become the true best friends and for those men who are married to such women,, the chances are you cant compete and for those men and women who are friends  with these men or women,, You might be heading towards a dangerous dark road with no brakes on you car.. You cant compete with a woman's love and devotion to her daughter and son,.. Thus causing undue conflict with spouse, WHO because they feel left out,., drift away , cheat,, when you lose the reception,, Its easy for the marriage to get destroyed,, hiding , lying even about the littlest things can destroy or damage relationships.. LIfe like marriage is often a delicate commitment and, its tough to stay married unless you keep that bond going,, which I do withzumba , with tv watching, with how was your day dear or preparing a meal or snack its the little things that keep a marriage happy.. Because we all know we all do dumb things foolish things..But a strong marriage forgives , and goes on.. But for the older women.. They are concerned about the love and devotion of their daughters,., A daughters love is a older woman's true best friend.. Like I said,, I'm a wise man and I'm not even going to compete with a woman's love for their daughter.. Because 1000 percent of the time, The woman will always CHOOSE A DAUGHTERS LOVE AND APPROVAL , over a male or female best friend,, Its not just a fact but its reality and its common sense.. Yes,, a older women, seeks the loves and respect from their kids, and husband , wide or best friend are way down on the bottom of the list.. But .. in retrospect,, I expect a professional , and educated women to choose daughter over anybody,., But for a lot of us men,. Choosing or having to share affections ,. often don't work.. Men want to be the ones that make their wives happy, But older woman.. often times, they just want to have a emotional connection and  youthful one,, with their kids and with their best friends,., But the older woman get and the older the kids get ,, its a tough reality for older women... That's why. ? in my opinion they seek male companionship or such,.. because its their way to bring up the egos and their pride to feel wanted is a strong emotional addiction and older successful women, whether they realize that or not.. Do this to cope with their realization that their kids are grown up and on their own.. I know I see my young son growing up and becoming a fine young man, but I also see the wife get more saddened that her close friend , best friend son is soon going off to college and becoming a successful human being..
 A older woman's true best friend as they get older is not their husbands or boy friends , or male friend, IN the end, its her kids.. and anyone that is smart , including myself must realize you cant win in that kind of situation, just be happy with the time you get and enjoy it.. Because a older woman are very selective with who they like to spend their time with,.. and If your lucky to get that opportunity , embrace It , cherish and above all don't abuse it.. Because a older woman can always fall back tot heir true Best friends,, their daughters or sons. .. Its no contest,, That's the  way it is and that's the way you need to handle it.. if you want a marriage or relationship.. BUt unfortunately too many men wont or cant adjust to that arrangement, because if ego, pride and position.. Most men don't want to play second fiddle regardless if that's sibling or not,, A sad reality that often leads to divorce and a lot of lonely men and women.. But if you do find or discover a great friend with someone,, Enjoy those moments because they may be few and fleeting..
THE SOURCE PRODUCTIONS @ 2013

Life is so fragile -- inspired by someone i know..

Life is so fragile.. Inspired by someone I know..
 My friend is a fun loving , passionate dude that has had issues with relationships.. He has been divorced and finding someone special took him years.. BUT.. right when you think everything is great, He gets into a near fatal car accident.. I mean , he's alive but the pain and suffering and rehab he is going through.. has been .. painful , slow and I guessing frustrating.. I feel for him because I didn't realize how hurt he is,, He really opened up.. And it was heartbreaking,, I mean he cant walk very well or make other movements.. Man.. This guy was as loud and passionate as I am.. But to hear that he can barely walk or move his neck.. Really make me wonder about life.. In a second you can lose everything..  I know.. Getting my muscle car and racing down the highways have been fun.. But I also realize that any false move and I can be a dead man.. He tells me to be careful.. Because he's proof that car accidents are no joke.. I mean he's alive but living in pain and not able to walk and do the things you love to do must be depressing. I know I love dancing,, to think that one day I can lose all that.. Then what? Its just goes to show ,, take and embrace life .. because you may never know what tomorrow brings.. I'm enjoying what I have a wonderful wife and kids ,, and the best of friends Male and female,, But we all know the realities of life.. YOU ,, never know when the unexpected can happen.. Like death.. I know one of my classmates had to deal with that recently,, and Janie I'm so sorry for your loss, but like I said .. By keeping up his spirit and recalling the happy memories will make the pain of losing him more bearable.. BUT WE all know losing someone close hurts,, and maybe that's why,..,for  most of my life I don't want to get too close to people because I know How sensitive I am.. I rather keep friendships at a certain level.. But when it comes to MY wife and best friends.. I know I would be devastated, But we all know life goes on.. We have to be happy every day and cherish the love you have for everyone,, I know life is so unpredictable and often times cruel.. LIKE MY FRIEND who has struggled to find love and finally get it , only to be hit with a another blow to the gut ,, like a life threatening car accident.. Its makes me wonder and makes think that.. You cant take chances anymore ,, because you never know, I have gone through a lot of soul searching these past months and now I'm retired.. But one thing is clear, I'm realizing how busy life is and how difficult the realities of life are. My transition has been diverse and often times frustrating,, but now I know,, that you have to do what makes you happy and you have to stay focused.. I know I'm running full speed, and often times I neglect the big picture.. But one thing is clear.. You have to stay focused on your goals and aspirations and leave the negatives out of your head.. I know that I have achieved great success , but I also know that.. I'm entering a new phase , but hearing about deaths and near death experiences has certainly made me think twice about how to handle life... Its simple I like being around people that like me and like what I do.. as for the others who don't dig what I do.. Well for you. I have No time for you,.. People usually say or do things because its the way the feel. If they are sorry , its because they are sorry about the effect , more than what they said.. Life is so fragile-and for ALOt of us. We are entering the final stages of life.. I mean how long is the life expectancy..
78-80? I hate when people say life is short,, nope I think life is long enough,,, I also hate when people say I'm too old or your too old.. Once again ..I have no time for people like that.. I know some or a lot of people say I still act and think like a teenager,, But hey, its what makes me happy.. When it comes to work.. I like to dead serious,, but when I'm off work,, I like to have fun.. especially now that I'm retired and going to enter a new phase in life.... Life is so fragile and we all have to realize that nothing last forever and like our emotions.. There is always tomorrow.. so,,., with that.. Smile and take a deep breath and get set for tomorrow,.. Because we have so many things to do and enjoy like sunny weather , fresh air and special friends!!
THE SOURCE PRODUCTIONS @2013
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1987- THE FINAL BREAKUP!! INSPIRED BY MY FIRST LOVE

1987- THE FINAL BREAK UP. INSPIRED BY MY FIRST LOVE..
 Yes,, I was a freelancer through out high school , a loner at times, a show off. A misunderstood cast off at times,, But after graduating from High school I was ready to go to college and start another chapter in my life. But this older , much older , much wiser , experienced woman,, took me and swept me off my feet. Yes this 17 yr old Naïve and innocent boy.. so to speak.. I though I was worldly I mean I dated a lot of women and such. But this one really caught my eye..
 She was beautiful , long hair, long legs , tanned body pretty smile.. and a personality that engulfed men and women.. She was thinker , a teaser, a party girl , a strong willed woman. It was something I was ready for ? Or I thought.. WE dated off and on for years.. I thought at one time she was going to be my wife.. My friend Joe pleaded with me to go on,. But I was a dreamer ,, I was a sucker more like it.. I failed at my acting career and my ego was hurt,. SHe with her mini skirts and great looks made me feel manly , made me feel superior.. But how that was all a joke?? She put me through hell and back, and like a lost puppy I kept staying in this unhealthy relationship..
 Until 1987.. IT ended and it ended like no other relationship before that time. I have been through break out over the phone or the lame ass Dear John letters, I have had the face to face I hate you and we were never menat for each other and such. But this ending was brutal.. Because I thought , she was the one.,.I thought despite our differences, We could make it work.. But I realized , you cant force a woman to love you or have a connection. Women know from the get go,, He's a friend , he's a Lover , He's a piece of meat,, etc. etc.. But men like men at that time,, thought . Oh. I will be more like the guy she wants me too. I will learn her way ,m listen to her musics.. But You know something, when you do that ,,. your a fake a phony.. and When she realizes that.. SHe will despise you an hate you,, I know I pretended to be that guy,, I changed my hair style, my clothes m my speech,, my persona, But guess what,, Its was a charade , a farce, and when she found out.. It was over.. I know when she wrote that down one time in my bedroom.. IT was a sad truth I wasn't ready for. I asked her What do you mean by that comment? She said,, Its over,, Summer time,, sure, it was But it also meant the end of a long and useless relationship.. In the beginning it was nice ,but we stayed together because it was convenient ,it was useful.. But in some ways it was a waste of time, Why prolong something that has no future,, Just to be friends.. I know we are probably suited to be best friends than lovers, But how can you tell .. the difference.,, We enjoyed each others company, we loved the same music and foods, we had the hobbies,, Dancing , partying, socializing,, But we were lacking one real thing,, that spark, that chemistry that you cant manufacture.. We were better best friends than lovers.. But my ego and my pride,, Were in big conflict,, and Thus,, I ended or we both ended the lover and best friend connection.. I was heartbroken.. I mean imagine have a best friend who you tell everything to.. Just like that end..? It was tough,. The lover part was easy,, because well its just a sexual thing...But the emotional , and psychogical trauma was unbearable.. I got depressed I began to hate older woman, in fact I still do.. I mean ,, I was this young kid,, bright eye and enthusiastic about a acting career? BUT it all went away ,, with those three damn words,, " I LOVE YOU!",, geez,, I thought those were the most poetic thing to say .. But those damn words, Killed my hopes and dreams of a acting show business career. Because my insecurity and lack of faith,.. in GOD? or what,, Its true.. You have to have faith,, I didn't and because of that I lost many years and tear trying to make a relationship work , which was doomed from the beginning..
  Well. lesson learned. I treat woman different now.. I respect them and I realize just because they smile and give you hugs or kisses, it doesn't mean they want sex.. Women.. want to feel a connection, not just a physical one but a emotional and passionate one.. Women want to feel loved m they want reassurance and they want a man to be open and honest , more than anything else,, But it doenst hurt to have the six pack abs and the muscular arms or what.. But woman , great women want to have that connection.. Where. .. What is my man doing? Is he ok? Is he being good? Does he think of me? But most of all does he really love me?
 Love to a women means,, That a man is open and honest about his feelings and very sincere about his intentions,, A man wins a woman's heart not by flashing money or muscles, , a man wins the heart of woman, by sharing his inner thoughts., his ideas, his goals his aspirations,, A man.. who is fake, or a cheater , gains no respect no matter what?
 Life is so lonely,, if you don't have a special someone, but its more lonely if you think you do and its really not?
 Yea.. 1987.. It was a end . and a new beginning. I only wish that timing and destiny would deal me a better fate.. I wasted way too much time in that love affair,, and My reckless years trying to punish woman was not productive also.. But we all hurt, and we all suffer, but I think I suffered more than a lot of you can imagine, and imagine this.......
 Imagine... if I was not waiting time, Partying and having one night affairs and dumping ladies or changing them like I change my profile picture on facebook,, It was another wasted time of my life..
Just Imagine,. if I just stay focused on what I really wanted to do..??
 I wanted to be a performer, a dancer , a comedian. I wanted to be a Actor,, But instead, I acted like a fool chasing girls and making a spectacle of myself.. oh well.. Life and fate dealt me this fate.. and what horrible.. if I would of found a woman in 1987 ,, My whole life would of an could been different.. But fate dealt me a different fate , and to be honest.. Knowing what I know and thinking about it.. just makes me wonder ,, Is my life really that great? I know you cant change destiny or what and who really knows the future,, But one thing is for sure today.. when 1987 CAME INTO MY MIND.. it was a year that I should done more than be a play boy and heartbreaker, to make other woman feel the pain that this older , woman did to me.. Karma , is something else,, and to think,, now at this point of my life,. I discovered.. Sometimes, knowing something that could of been>? Is really a
curse in it self.. What if? I .. just lived my life and let the good times find me,.. Instead of,, Hurting myself and others because the Love of my life was nothing but a older , wiser and cruel woman that created such pain and misery.,, that I still feel in my persona.. Sure I dance , I laugh,.. I cry,, I write.. But.. Am I really Happy? Did I really find true happiness in life.. ? Or Am I being teased by the almighty one,, about what could have or should have happened..
 1987.. IT was number that just got stucked in my head, and its a year I should of started looking for women that would help me become more confident and secure,, Then those ghetto girls , those bar girls, those drinking , mini skirt wearing air heads that think, Idf I look good anf feel good drinking alcohol, My life is complete.. .. yea right.. The only thing that's complete is your belief that if I hurt people that pain in my heart will go away..
 But the lesson learned was this?> The only thing that went away was a chance to find true love.. and true happiness,, Don't get me wrong.I'm happy with my life,, But ??? Am I truly happy? Is anyone ?
I compromised my career and my life to find temporary happiness... But now I realized more than ever.. YOU REALLY CANT CREATE A CONNECTION with someone.. Either you have it or you don't!! 1987,,,, Things could have been different if???? But chances are..I'm being dealt a different fate and I have to accept it. whatever that means?? Be happy , because despite the trial and tribulations I have gone through.. I was sent a Angel that changed my life and given me more than I could ever imagine,, Now .. is it a Angel of love,, or is it this Angel of Mercy that is enticing me to do what I do?? I made the choice and Now I have to live with it.. Or will those hangups and misfortunes that haunted me in the past come back and do it again?? Lord I hope not, I know I cant deal with any more breakups of family or friends.. But then again Life goes on.. if you let it..
until my next blog.. Be good and always strive for what you want!!
THE SOURCE PRODCUTIONS @2013

MY LIFE - MY WIFE - MY EVERYTHING BY MEL PARAS

, Life , My Wife , My everything by Mel Paras,....
      My Life is my life, I want to thank her with all my heart. Because without her I ain't shit!! I mean that. She suffered though 2 child births and I'm still recovering from watching one of them.. The other time I was doing my 7 deployments an 12 years at sea,.. long time to be away from each other,,
 But she endured the long separations and the lonely nights and having to care for two growing boys on her own.. Now that I come to think about it , What a task,, I mean I have raising the kids since I started and now retired for 4 or 5 months and I'm exhausted.. Laundry , cleaning , organizing schedules , shopping etc.. BUT SHE DID IT .. and now that I'm home,. She can rest,, I got the watch..The long hours of slaving over the stove or getting up early to make sure the kids are fed and ready to go,, Its over its my time to stress out.. I see the difference in her she looks so much more younger and prettier than ever!!I don't know , But I think I have the prettiest and sweetest wife around.. She has spoiled me rotten!! Two handsome boys , a beautiful home and a her unconditional love , she has been so patient with my moods, Because I'm moody as hell. Sometimes I wonder why? I can be so cool at one moment then blow up and then be good soon after,, BIPOLAR? ?? hehe, Its more like I'm a ego maniac who loves attention and reassurance when I say or do anything. I know she is a angel because she deals with such a good ball. I know  attention maniac,, all of you can attest to the tons of fb posts or YouTube.. But its me,,, and heaven knows there is more coming?? I man a million years ago,, I wanted to be actor, but after a few auditions,, I realized there is a lot more better looking and talented people than me..??/
 In other words. I was devastated and decided I need a real career. But enough of me.. This is all about my lovely wife Mona.. She is the center of my world,, Nothing I mean nothing is worth anything without her approval and love.. I know I'm friendly and I have a lot of female friends? But lets get something straight . I love you like your the only woman  alive,, I 'm not gonna lie,, they are a lot of physically sexy and pretty woman,, But They don't have anything on you,, You are mother of our lovely kids and your the fire in my heart.. My heart burns hot every time I LOOK YOU.. I think you are the sexiest and prettiest lady on earth. I cant imagine a life without.. I know I something else,, But I'm yours always and forever and any other notions you may have about my friendships with my female friends,, Don't even go there!! I told you every day,,I love you and only you.. MY life is you and your everything in my life.
    I know it hasn't been easy the last years in the Navy, But I'm here now and everything I'm doing
and planning to do is for you and the family..
 May 9, 2013,, Marks our wedding day and I want to renew our vows in front our your loving family and mine, I want to say out loud how much you mean to me and I want a ton of photos and I want your maid of honor and my best man,, to be there to witness another great day in my life..
 Then afterwards,,go to Vegas with out group.. Lisa, johndee, vhel , hugh ,  Rowena ,, and have the times of our lives.. I'm blessed and I want to share the blessings I have. My life , My wife,, is all that counts.. Babes, I love you with all my heart and I know we have many years to share our passionate love affair and our love is as strong as the day I saw you and fell madly in love..
Yes ,, my dear.. MY LIFE , IS MY WIFE,, and everything else fails in comparison to my devotion and care for you,, I LOVE YOU MONA, not only the day I first saw you , but every time I see you , I'm falling for you!!!
THE SOURCE PRODUCTIONS @ 2013

Best Friends forever! Inspired by Mel..

Best friends forever !! Inspired by Mel..
 A song dedicated from my Bestie to me.. BEST FRIENDS FORVER BY KSM...
                            Tears you try to hide , you hold it all inside pretend it doesn't matter...
                               Why? keep it to yourself, when you got someone else
                                  you know can make it better!!!
                               You try to be so strong , But I always know when something's wrong
                            See when your feeling down..
                      Hey , wasn't it you who's always been there for me?
                       Don't forget what we've been through together ..
                           Hey isn't it true? We promised to be friends forever yeah............
                    Words you don't need to say the sad that's on your face , Isn't hard to see though I've
                   been there once or twice...........
                       Its you that make it right , My turn to be there for you.......
           YOU ..try to be so strong , But I always know when something's wrong , See when you're feeling down.........
        Hey wasn't it you who'd always been there for me? Don't forget what we've been through together .
       Hey isn't it true?
      When the rain comes down, I'll be there , I will always be around ...
     Just wanna be the one to catch you when you fall............
                          We promised to always be " Best friends forever!""

     Now .. to my blog about what is a Best friend???
  Simply.. A best friend is ........
     the person you are thinking about as you read this....
A best friend is someone you can trust.. and very close with.. A person that when your not feeling well , makes u feel better. They are the ones no matter what you did in the past or future , stupid or what still care for you,..
  They are the ones you are so close too, you have " Inside " secrets or jokes no one understands??
You have secret codes or words .. and only you two know the meanings!!
 They are the ones even when your confused or what they know exactly what your talking about..
 They are the ones that can sit for hours and laugh at memories from the past.. like Beach party , my birthday party and of course his retirement party.. the laughs , pictures and making fun of each other is what makes my best friend so cool.. Months ago I was in a dilemma about career and he was so supportive , even though ,, it was killing him inside the thought of losing his best friend.. well not losing , but being many miles away,,,,
 My best friend breaks out laughing over the same thoughts.. and jokes,,
 My best friend is always there for me.. morning , noon and night,, sorry I know I can be demanding,.,. but he is so cool or he's a great actor,, perhaps a combo of both,,hehe,,
 My best friend is someone I say everything to, and someone that offers ice cream or such when i'm feeling the need for it.. My besties and I say and do things that seem child like or teenager like. Wearing similar outfits for my birthday party or his retirement party even though we didn't even know what we were going to wear.. intuition,,,connection,,,, the same wave length,,,
 My best friend can make fake laughs or make up stories that make me laugh,, or at least I hope to God those are not true stories , but then again,,, I do call him "BOLD"HEHE..
 My best friend makes me laugh so much .. My tummy hurts , but that's ok. I'm trying to lose weight.. for our group Vegas weekend,,
 My bestie makes my day happier just by being there.. My bestie is someone that you never grow tired of and always want to hang around with,, My bestie I never get tired of, even though its late and I have to go to work in a few hours.. thanks bestie,, hehe,, My bestie is cool , because he compliment's your car even though its full of so much stuff. unlike his beauty.. hehe. Love his car..SO when can I drive it?? for reals,,hehe,, My bestie not only sings happy birthday in HI own Rock style voice , but also entertains my family and friends with what his call street dancing ..poppin- lockin? whatever , I mean his wife calls it-- Convulsive motions,, hehe, it does look like that,,
 My bestie fits in like a family member,, Well he's my brother that I never had..
 My best friend just knows what I'm thinking or feeling , just by the look on my face and vice versa..
My best friend is someone that has inside jokes , someone who is good at listening,, but it a lot more better at talking about nothing , anything,, WE THE FAMILY CALL HIM"" CNN - ALWAYS ON, ALWAYS TALKING..
 M y best friend is someone I love,, not as a lover or sexual object, but as a true friend that doesn't need anything but time and thoughts.. My bestie is the one we make up nicknames for one another.. Bruce Lee, Artista, Jackie Chan.. The Bold and Beautiful.. The Twins,, The Mel's,,,My best friend cheered me up when I was struggling with my dilemma , and is the one you want to go on road trips with. My bestie who can be a bad ass, and protective ,,, regarding my behavior or what,,
 My bestie and I can text like forever and not get tired of any or all of them.. My bestie is someone that can make u laugh every day , and its easy to be with , because we are not trying to out do,, well .. not in a mean way,,,, hehe,,, brother sorry for the imitative dance at your party,, but I loved how I can make you stop dancing,, because your laughing your ass off.. hehe.
 My best friend is someone that would walk or drive a million miles to just see u.. My bestie makes me cry because I want to see them,,, My bestie brings joy to my life , while others bring me pain..
 My best friend is someone I can totally be myself,,, and not give a care in the world about our actions or feelings.. because we don't judge one another or have ego trips,, well I don't,, my bestie is getting better at it, hehe, My best friend ,, most of all is just there when I need someone to call , to text , to face book, or to just hang around with at parties or gatherings,,
 I know,, girl on girl best friends are the norm and the same goes with with boys on boys,, But.. when Man and woman, and grown men and women,, Society says things,, Like" They are having a affair, they are bed buddies,, they are lovers. cheaters, wild things,, But .. If you are mature and you have a understanding of how connected my best friend are,, You wouldn't think those things, I know the smiles and the admiring glares at one another when we do karaoke or just joking around,, Folks think other wise, But My bestie and I , are not phased or bothered by it, As long as we are not hurting you. We don't care,, BUT people hate what they cant have or cant get.. My bestie and I ,, weren't looking for a friend,, It just happened and despite my besties insecurity and fear of losing another best friend, I assure him.. That we cant guarantee what THE FUTURE may hold, But we can enjoy each others company and friendship and share our talents of singing , dancing , joking , smiling and story telling.. oh.. and imitation of each others dance style OR singing styles.. Is truly wonderful and special,., I know the best part of our friendship is that.. We make each other feel better about ourselves and our ambitions,, We both love our significant others,, but we also know that we have a connection that so many people love to see and others only wish they had..
 To my best friend Mel..Be positive like your blood type and always remember.. We promised from the get go of our friendship.. " Best friends forever " BFF,,, Well , I don't have the anything else to say, and I hope you like my definition of my Best Friend, Because he is and I am everything a Best friend should be,, and are!!! Take Care.. and to my New Best friend ,, Mel,, Thank you for just being you,, and I'm so happy that your enjoying your new chapter in life and I want to be there for all the great accomplishment's for us and our kids,, Our lives and our families are so lucky,, Because they now have two very unique personalities that want to perform, and want to share their talents.. Well one thing is for sure,, With the Two Mel's around,, There is never a dull moment!??!?!
THE SOURCE PRODUCTIONS IN ASSOCIATION WITH THE MELS .. @2013

I MISS THE NAVY? INSPIRED BY Jason..

I Miss the Navy? Inspired by  jason..
 Yes, its really official.. I have my retirement papers and turned in my ACTIVE DUTY id card AND ISSUED THE RETIREE ONE.. But guess what? I'm miss the Navy- not the long hours with no extra pay or the long watches in the middle of nowhere .. Or the long ass working parties in the Persian Gulf heat.. I miss my friends.. The guys that i would joke with , lift weights , show off my martial arts skills and of course talk shit,, If there is one thing I haven't lost is my ability to talk smack.. But in the civilian world,, I don't get to do that anymore.. Well my bestie is pretty good at that , but in general,, I had to resort to a ton og blog writings or fb videos postings.. But its not the same like being with people you work with and suffering together. Its funny. I was so hyped up about retiring and its been great , But I also feel like it didn't end the way it should have. You know,, what i mean,, Being TAD TO a bunch of people that could care less about me,, was sort of lame way to go.. I mean I'm not saying Retirement isn't great , but I thought I should of been given a better send off. But its ok.. I plan on doing some family and friends gatherings ,., and I have a retirement speech or idea ready for my wife and family.. They deserve it and they know I know how to make great speeches and create a good feeling. But like i said ,, i never thought the feelings i have would surface as soon as i got my retirement id card.. Its a humbling experience and to be honest ,, I'm going through so many emotions right now,, Joy, pain, confusion, anxiety, anxiousness. you name it. But its all part of the process of retirement..I mean i have been in the Navy most of my adult life, You just can't say good bye and your done.. Its truly a transition and a difficult one.. I thought it was going to be easy, I mean I was a civilian before I joined the navy,, But so much time away from real life,, the struggles and the hardships I have seen just to retire.. But just seeing how many people apply for jobs at job fairs , and how much of a ratt race real life is.. Not everyone is on your side and even the ones on your side still have feelings of envy and jealousy,,Why? Because of what I can do and What I have,, The family life and personal life are so great right now.. I love the group I go dancing and singing with. I love the gatherings with The Maestro and my signature " oh Donna" renditions, and now with my twin ,, best friend,, singing " Open Arms and I need you by Lady Antebellum is totally to cool.. I'm contented right now,, well until I complete my degree and get employed at reputable hospital.. These will ultimately make me happy. I know there is people out there that wonder "" How come this one little dude.. Can have so much energy and talent. I mean Dance, martial arts expert.,. comedian , actor , story teller.. blogger, sports analyst.I know everything I know how to do is the true blessing and gift from god.. that's why I'm Bold as my beautiful sister tells me.. I feel that as long I'm fighting for  the right things, NO one can beat me.,. I'm the Holy Warrior.. so to speak,,, Don't ask me why ,, ? When I see a dance move or martial arts move.. I register it in my brain, and then I can replicate it.. Its a talent for sure and I know i have haters. That say we are friends, But its ok,, I'm gonna continue to be me.. dancing , fighting m writing and sharing great videos and pictures of my loving family and my friends. Yes, I miss the navy,. But I also know I have another mission to accomplish and when that's done. I will have another,, That's just life. we continue on until we die?? Sad,, that we have to die? perhaps , but as all you can tell i;m going to give and share my all to everyone in my circle of family and friends,, I will continue to post you tube videos, i will continue to sens in videos to so you think you can dance show..? I will continue to support my sons dance crew, and soon my youngest son's pursuit of football excellence.. I know in due time., With my college studies and my kids activities I will be a busy man,, Perhaps more busier than when i was in the Navy,. Yes, I miss the friendships and the great foreign lands I git to see..   But it's ok.. I have a new ambition to attain and I have a lot of people to share my happiness with.. Yes, I miss the Navy, but I';m sure those feelings Will change when I get fully engrossed in my kids life , which has been passing by so quickly , because of my Navy duties.. I miss the Navy? Sure. But I also look forward to starting my new life with my family and friends and new co workers .. Until my next blog,., Take Care!!
THE SOURCE PRODUCTIONS @ 2013

Why I dont drink anymore? Inspired by ????

Why I don't drink anymore? Inspired by ???
 If you live long enough life, your gonna make mistakes in judgment , in love affairs in friendship's , in business dealing in, whatever? No one lives the perfect life.. Its just human nature,, When I was a teenager I used to drink and have fun racing cars , chasing girls,, dancing , clubbing , Life was wonderful..
 Then.... after my first enlistment I was sent overseas ,, But before that I spent the best  days of vacation with my beloved mama.. I was told by the family , its a Miracle,, Mama looks more alive than she has in years.. My family said , she has been bed ridden and depressed, But those  30 days She made breakfast , we went to parks and our favorite food places..went to church,, She looked like the mama I left years ago before going to my first command in Wa State..
  Well the 30 days of fun in the sun and has  blast.. But before leaving for the Airport and waving good bye.. I took one last look at my mom and I saw the saddest look I ever saw on her face, it was like all the smiles and passion she had .in just in a instance disappeared.. And.. my eyes began to water and my skin became cold and clammy as if I knew That was going to be the last time I would see her.. But it soon passed and I was ok on the plane ride home and honestly didn't think nothing of it.. until....
  Months later my oldest brother called me like 4 am.. I knew it was bad news. He said mama is sick,, or dying.. I said,, what?  I just saw her months ago, she was healthy and happy.. He said,, " Honestly,, we were all shocked how she performed those 30 days , it was like a miracle, She forced herself to look healthy and happy.. just for you,, I started to cry, and I demanded the room # and I soon called her,.. She said She is ok,, I told her I'm coming home to visit,, again.. She said, NO need I'm ok.. we talked for hours ,, and The following day I requested to go home,, They approved it quickly,.. so off I went.. but.. the flight was delayed , and I had to spend a night , before flying off.. I was so anxious to see mama..
 I called my brothers they said .. We are sending annie to pick you up.. I said what , I'm going to the San Diego Naval Hospital.. I got there and I said my moms name,, I asked what room.. they looked at their roster no name sir. I said what I just spoke with her a day or two ago.. I then heard Mona moan or cry... but I was in denial .. they said  . The chaplain is on his way, I said I don't need a chaplain.. I want to see my mama. yes I was making a scene, I mean I flew half way around the world., Had to sleep or spend a night wondering about my mama..
 My wife grabbed my arm.. babe,, I think she's gone.. .. I began to cry uncontrollably, gone where ? What room is she in.. The nurse and Dr's were all in a state of shock.. They took me to a empty room and informed me she passed away yesterday..of heart failure.. I let out the loudest cry and I sank to my knees in deep pain and sorrow , I felt the earth was taken form under me,, My heart grew heavy and my tears were pouring like water.. Mona picked me up and I started to cry on her shoulder she cried with me along with the chaplain. the nurse.. Finally,, My brothers and sisters got to the room and we all cried and asked why?
 I was devastated .. I was at a loss. I took her death poorly,,, I blamed my family for not looking after her.. I was in a rage, When I returned to Japan. I began to drink heavily and often.. I had issues with daily drinking, I was sent to every alcohol program around, I would say and do the right things,, but as soon as I got another drink,, The sadness and angry emotion's would surface and I would become,, a mean, almost demonic person. I would say and do horrible things, The more I drank the more depressed I would get,, The more I drank the more I needed to get a high.. It got to a point daily drinking for hours wasn't enough.. But the verbal abuse and physical confrontations with co workers was the worst,, But I keep doing it, the more I drank the lonelier I got , I felt as empty as the bottles of whatever I drank.. I was.. a mess.. and I almost lost is all. The career , the family , my life.. What changed me?
 Simple after a drunken state at a fam party, My son told me or pleaded with me to stop. He had the saddest almost shameful look on his face.. Whats scary.. I didn't even know what I said or did,, I mean who did I hurt verbally and physically.. I mean I black out when I get drunk and do things,, but you know.. People . because I went through so much pain and misery early in life,, I realized.. that's why I live life with great joy and happiness.. Because I have seen family and friends die .. its not a good feeling to lose someone you love.. but I realized that that's the cycle of life,, Everything comes to an end.. Love, life.. everything has a life cycle.. That's why the friends I have I cherish , because we never know when is our last day or breath.. When it time to go,, ,, I want my friends to love me and be happy the life I shared with my writings or posts. Because my true friends and fans of me. You all know I do the dancing , writing or whatever because I love it.. I love life and thankful to GOD every day or every morning I'm able to wake up and do the things I love to do..dance, write , read,, make people smile. If I can bring joy to people 's heart.. than I'm happy..
 Thus .. Because I don't like how I feel and behave when I'm drunk , I don't drink.. and I'm happy with that.. Its like I said , every bottle I drank , I felt as empty and stinky as the bottle I just finished,, I was never solving anything. It just made me more miserable.. and thus,, it also made my close family and friends sad too. so,,,,, Because of that .. I don't drink anymore.. Hey I have my occasional one or two
maybe 3 drinks a night socializing,, but I don't want to get drunk .. I don't like how mean I become and its not cool.. Drinking was a crutch when I was dealing with issues , like the loss of my mama.. I know I cant bring my mama back.. But I feel by living the way she would treat people , is enough to keep her spirit alive., so,, In honor of my Mama.. I want to be like her , a loving , caring parent and strict disciplinarian with my kids, It's called tough love,, ..
 I'm good with not drinking anymore, besides I have a messed up liver from the early age of drinking . I'm trying to regain my health and drinking is not a toxin I want inside.. I have a lifetime to share with my beloved wife, and kids.. and my new bestie I call sister.. Without these special people.. I am nothing.. I promise to be good to them and I promise to keep those demons that come with heavy , excessive drinking.. Actually its not a tough choice. I care about health , and maintaining my  health, and besides,, drinking is so fattening,, and I care about my girlish figure..hehe. Why I don't drink? Its not as hard as you think.. I find joy in my dancing , writing and singing,, to offset any emotional highs I can get from drinking... To those that drink.. don't feel sorry for me,,, I lived my life and I suffered with liver damage and other damages to my skins and bines because of the damage heavy drinking does to your heart,, lungs , and stomach.. it burns up the insides after so many years..
 But its a new year , a new career and new life.. and I don't need to drink to be happy, I get off on my own emotional high I get from my wife , my kids and my sweet best friend I call sis..  Why I don't drink..?? Its not even a second thought .. I don't because I don't need it.. It imprisoned me for too many years.. I'm free now, and I'm enjoying my life and what the future has in store for me.. My lovely wife and kids,, and sis all are supporting my new endeavors and I'm embracing their enthusiasm and belief,, I don't want to let them down.. I did that for so many yeas with careless words and thoughts,, because the liquid courage would take control.. Not anymore... if I reach for a bottle its usually water , because I work out and sweat too much.. Why I don't drink anymore?? Because I don't need spirits so to speak to be happy.. I'm the master of my own destiny.. and I am so happy right now, in fact this is the happiest time of my life!! Until my next blog take care always!!'
THE SOURCE PRODUCTIONS @ 2013