Why I hated the military!

Why I hated the military !
  Ok , I know I served over 20 years defending  this great nation , I took an oath to defense against all enemies foreign and domestic ! I get rxi
it ! But the military screws with you ! From day one to my last day ! They own you everything you say or do or even wear is dictated by then ,, geez you even have to let them know you want to tattoo your body ! Yes your a piece of property and Uncle Sam owns your ass ! Yup I remember having stood a watch only to stand another one because some lazy ass gets sick or what so the military always punishes or used the gung Ho
Squared away dumb ass like me ! I always stood my watch , never late they always called me for watches or do Special assignments , yup I was a sucker , fell for that honor courage and commitment bull shit they brainwashed us into believing , so much crap you had to deal with long watched , long working hours , constant drills and exercises that drive everyone
Nuts ! I hated work ups that’s when you had to drill and practice fire fighting scenarios until you sweat yourself to death! We were
Always tired mentally physically and emotionally ! They didn’t care if your shipmate killed them selves jumping off the ship or getting into ship board accidents . I saw so many
Injuries and deaths I have trouble sleeping at night , I have nightmares and dreams about the tragedies I witnessed but guess what I survived but lots of veterans are struggling with family , friends and society , why ? Because we endured tremendous stress in the military the time away from family friends and normal life , a lot us have these demons that
Poke at out emotions at times of wr hear certain sounds or songs that
Bring us back to that scenario . At times I like talking to Vets about the old days but other times I cry about the missed birthdays and anniversary and such I missed a lot because
I made a choice to sacrifice my needs and desires to take care of my family ‘ I just wish the military spent more time helping vets before they got out ,, that one week class then
Offer you is not enough time to get you prepared for civilian life ! I struggled when I hit
Out , to be honest I still struggling but I found ways to
Cope like working put , reading and writing and gun collecting and sharing my knowledge with prople, it’s my coping mechanism, but for my fellow vets that are killing them selves at 22 a day it’s an alarming rate , but the news , the media only covers what people care about , the economy, sports , celebrities etc . They don’t care about the watch standers , the bullet blockers , the Pawns ♟ we are expendable in their eyes just give them their pensions and disability checks and have Veterans Day with parades they will be fine ! Hey I’m not knocking military service it gave me a life I couldn’t have if I Stayed a civilian !? But it’s a hard , lonely and stressful life that drains you when
it’s over!
       It’s really hard to explain how vets feel when it’s over , relieved , depressed , guilty we lived while our shipmates and marines were being killed or they Killed them selves ! It’s a different
World and somehow through 12 years at sea , 7 deployments various wars and operations I made it but it was not easy and i hated every day about something that was going on! But if not for my great shipmates that helped with out issues on Liberty call yea we were idiots in foreign ports but we had to release our stress .. we hated the inspections , the drills , the exercises , the burial at seas ceremonies, we hated the working parties, the long working hours , the long lines to get off and on the ship we hated it all but in the end I hated leaving my shipmates behind when I transferred to a new command and start the same old routine of bull shot that went on for 20 years!
   The military will make you or break you is what that scream at you in boot camp , they pumped us up thinking we are special, yes we are special to do watches to drill us until we fell asleep . We never got enough sleep or rest never got enough food or drink we never got anything but more work if you never complained ! I was a sucker I drank  the cool aid I ate it up for over 20 years! But now that’s its over  .. I can’t belove I let myself tolerate all that shit .. for that I hate myself for not bring strong enough or tough enough to get out and have a real life with my family , I know they suffered and sacrificed so much for me snd I’m grateful to them and I’m sorry I wasn’t there most of time ‘ All I can do is pray they forgive me and hope they understand the pain and suffering, we military folks have gone through to give them a stable life ! I hated every minute of it but I Did it for my family’s future! In life  you deal with many heart breaks and sadness and joy , you have to enjoy the good times and be strong during the bad times ! I hated what the military exposed me to but I love financial stability it gave my family ! Until my next blog be strong !
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