My First love .. My biggest heart break..? Inspired by Dee.

My first love - My biggest heartbreak ?  - Inspired by Dee..
  Hi everyone , thank you for taking time to share a time in my life .. 
   Well I just graduated high school and attended Southwestern College , located in Chula Vista , Ca.. I was accepted to San Diego State University , but I wanted to save money by going to community college.. I figured its the same courses at SDSU , but cheaper.. 
  Ok.. I has a friend lets call him Johnny , not his real friend., he was a high school friend. So, I saw him hanging out with this girl. I said hi to him and I could tell this girl liked what she saw, and vice versa. 
 Well moving forward , we dated and went out alot.. WE went TJ..(tijuana , Baja Califrornia, south of san Diego. )  to drink and party back in those days, that was the thing to do, Man we had some crazy times. Well anyways, she kinda changed me. I grew a mustache. I drank alot. more than usual.. especially hard liquor. and I smoked alot... cigarettes. I was also a pot smoker. It was the deal back then.. But anyways. we had a great time. we partied our asses off. Let me tell you about her. She was super fine .She had great tan legs. a pretty ass smile and eyes too match.. I was in lust and love.. My beloved mom.. liked her  alot. She says she's pretty and sweet. Maybe a bit too sexy.. She liked to wear mini skirts. Well dad loved her. in fact dad loved most of the girls I brought home.. In fact daddy pinched and hugged my girl on the first introduction.. Dee says your dad is something else? Like father ., like son. 
  Fast forward.. We now have been dating what ? 4 years.. I was in my first year at SDSU,, and I had developed deep feelings in fact I asked her to marry me/>? But she hesistated..? She says , I have a secret? I said to myself>? What , your married ? You have a child ? My mind was racing. ...Well she asked me to go with her to this new night club. A place she says I go with my girls on friday. Something she done throughout our relationship.. I mean she would go with her girls and I would hang with my boys.. that night. Thats why we had a cool relationship..or atleast I thought? 
  Ok.. Shes comes and picks me up. I wanted to drive , but she insisted on driving ? Now I'm really tripping.. Well she drives me to down town san diego, hillcrest. I think,? Not sure,. but anyways,, We see this fancy club. Named the Flame. I said cute name. When we get inside, its has tons of girls . amd guys. but I soon relaize.. its a gay club.. ? I said, what the fuck.. ? Dee , then intorduces me to her girl friend. Call Cee.. Whats get me..is that I know this girl. in fact shes like my closest friend that lived like yards from my house.. Shes my home girl.. In the streets thats a female friend. or like a sister ,. we also called them, so I say whats up.?  So dee, says this is my secret.. Im like huh? Shes my girlfriend...ok I say.. I know that . Dee says no shes really my girlfriend... Being a hard headed dude I'm stil clues less, Cee says we are lovers , dude. !! I say what? No way. This is bad joke,, They both say its not a joke. I;m like no way , prove it. kiss each other. At first , they hesistated , but I insisted..
yup, my worst thoughts came into reality they were making out right in front of me. and the love of my life for 4 years , was a lesbian. or bisexual. ? My heart sank , I feel so betrayed , so used and abused. and so humilated , not only that I couldnt leave because I didnt drive.. But I still wanted to leave, but I saw how dee was looking and I didnt want her to feel out of place with her friends. So after a while I relaxed and just started to dance. with dee and cee , but dudes were watching me,,. what the fuck right? I must have been really drunk and heart broken , I didnt care , .. Then get this .. This good looking white dude.. Came parading around me  waving bills , and saying someone is gonna get lucky tonight.. He came up to me.. I said oh my god. The girls told me this dude wants u, In fact some of the girls told him I will party with you,, the guy said . nope.. I want him.. ! Of course.. I was freaked out.. He finally left me alone. But this night turned out to be my biggest heart break.. I mean my first true love has been playing me for years. But that night I danced and drank my ass off. 
   The next day I had the hangover from hell. I slept the whole day and Dee, decided to visit me that night . WE talked by her car and of course her girl was there.. She pretty much let me know thats shes a lesbian.. And that shes in love with cee, she said something that she was a bisexual during the early years of our relationship.. But after a while. developed into a full lesbian.. She says she tried to gives clues, but i was so in love , I didnt notice,,,? Love is blind right guys,, I really wish I caught those signals . because that heart break was devastating/ he hurt me for years.. he got so bad I dropped out of college and just worked.. Then decided to try Law Enforcement, attended Sheriffs academy.. I went on lots of dates , but I wanted no part of any relationships.. I learned the hard way.. I guess? But anyways. Lets be honest I became a heart breaker ,  I went out and broke girls hearts , I know that sounds mean but I was young 21-22 years old.. I just wanted to hurt girls. Since the girl of my dreams not only betrayed me but became a lesbian. My friends told me you made her gay.. I thought yea. soemthing is wromg with me. So I guess I went on a love spree to prove I;m a man .. One night stands were the normal and if I did dated anyone.. I would break it off soon after . Like I said I didnt want to get close to anyone. What an ass hole ? Well think about what happened to me, the love of my lofe turned into a lesbian of my life.. ? It took years for me to recover.. Until I met the true love of my life Mona... Sweet , simple , level headed , hard working and most of all didnt inflate my ego. I had to earn her respect. But like I said, It took years.. to recover. 
  My advice , dont lie about your sexuality , living a lie is the most heat breaking thing to deal with. I mean, she dee made me feel so loved and wanted. But to think I wasted 4 years of life,, was the most hurtful thing to happen.. Thank God , I found my true love . But those years were the craziest times of my life..Now if I saw dee again,,, today 2020 what would I say >> ?? I would say Hi..I mean that was many years ago. I would talk and catch up . I mean, she was a part of my life. Now would I tell her how much she hurt me? NO , unless she asked me..But  why bother , whats done is done.. All I know.is that people shouldnt play with peoples emotions. If your not into someone , just say so, right off. By  pretending like she did was plain wrongand decietful.. Even Evil.!!. but like I said. I forgive her because I dont want her to have power of me , like she had all those years I didnt accept what happened to me. In fact I became as deceitful and evil as her when I toyed with girls emotions. In fact my mom told me. Dont break girls heart because they are probably praying or wishing bad things towards you. Maybe thats why my life is so full of drama. >? Soon  after the biggest heart break came. When my Mama passed away.... My next phase of being an ass hole!! 
  Yea , my life is like a soap opera, I have close to 900 BLOGS posted since 2011. From the Jr high - College years to the Navy days ,, until Now.. Plus assorted Sports stories and tributes to fallen classmates.. Check out my blogs. The Source has fans in Russia, Poland, Germany < italy , Philippines. Take care and be safe and thanks for taking time to share my experiences I have .. Its some cases its my therapy.. 

THE SOURCE PRODUCTIONS @ 2020..