Why people are scared to love ? Inspired by my dear friends....

Why people are scared to love ? Inspired by my dear friends... 

  Why people are so scared to love? Well based on experience , love is so energenic i so surreal its so unreal. Everyone recalls that euphoria you feel when you meet someone and you just click. I mean you guys like the same things , you enjoy each others company. It feels like a dream..I know i have felt that a handful or less times in life and Its the greatest feeling. But once that honeymoon stage is gone,, Now the foundation of love and trust comes in. Is it real? I mean , it easy to say the right things and be careful what to say and do. But its the after the honey moon stage where real deep spiritual love happens, Its when two people accept each others faults, issues and let them be. Its tough because once you let that person into that stage, its hard to let them go.. because we develop feelings, an attachment? But one or both decide if this relationship , friendship is worth it? Because I believe developing a deep relationship , with out sex, is the true meaning of love. Its so easy to be sexually attractive to sexes. I mean lust is strong , but to develop a bond a friendship is rare, that's why relationships and marriages don't last. Many times , we look to our special someone as a sexual object and desire and use them. But what happens when the sexual attraction is gone. Whats next ? Love and if you never developed that love,, what do you have a empty feeling that can make you feel more lonely .. especially when your with that person. They say times heals wounds , but too much time away can also make feelings or binds , fade and break away. Its hard to explain the real meaning of love because we all have our twisted views of it For some , the person I love has to be such and such and he or she must act this way,, This is how I measure love.. But you know making demands or setting standards, to me is not love,, ...??
  Love to me is unconditional , what do I mean, its letting your partner be who they are and despite their issues or problems , you love them no matter what and they love you, too But too many people say I have unconditional love, but its something that just happens , its something that just happens by nature. In other words, people do things because they want to,, Whether its leaving texts or calling them whenever, or just asking if their ok.. They do it because they want to,, Its not because the other person says, please text me, or please call me or say good night .. Unconditional love is doing things because you feel it and you want to it.It makes it more special when that person does things and doesn't expect nothing in return. I know why should I text or call someone if they don't reply in a timely manner.. That's not love,, your setting rules to love.. To me love is free, its the ability to let the person do what they want to, They want to say hi , or greet you ,, or just make you smile,, I have a special friend that i make it a daily act to say hi and ask if she's ok I give her high fives, or give her a quick tug on her arm.. Its just means,, I;m thinking about and if you need a ear , I;m there or if you want to talk.. I can do that too. Or you want my novel texts I can do that.. its really cool to have a connection with someone,, Its cant be duplicated or imitated,, when you have a connection, its rare and its special and to be honest,, its not something you want to let go.? Am I right, but is there a restriction if the person has commitments like.. Marriage, Engagements, girl friends , by Friends,, I mean , does any one want to be that bad boy or bad girl.. ??But to me..Love has no boundaries, it just happens and for anyone including myself, to deny oneself to love someone , because they belong or should belong to someone. But guess what? The heart cant hide the true feelings you have. You can walk away or run away. But what does that do.. By thinking about someone while with another is cheating your true self to happiness So Why do it? Well I have commitments to that person.. sexual , or what ,, but if your heart and mind yearns for someone else,, Are you really living a full and fulfilled life,, To me.. YOUR just going through the emotions That's no way to live life. To me life is meant to be be lived fully , regardless if the feelings you have will hurt others.. Because aren't you hurting yourself by denying your true feelings about someone.? Its tough to love someone,, because all of us have been hurt , betrayed , lied too and that heartbreak is undeniable and painful. especially when you thought that person loved you. But that's where true love comes in.. True love is unconditional , its boundless and isn't jealous or envious , Love to me is free to be me , free to live your life. When you love someone you want them to be their best and your there to guide them and comfort them when they get hurt.. That's love , to me love is something that is taken care of and something that;s really hard to find.. That's why we see so many broken marriages and relationships.. People fail to truly develop a friendship with a strong foundations of trust , honesty amd faith.. Its hard because we all don't want to get hurt,.. So many of us hold back because we have to.. Fear dictates if we truly open up to to others,, For me.. I'm a risk taker.. I open up and let the chips fall and many times than not, I have had many girls say.. Your a good guy but, I cant deal with all your issues, or a real man doesn't reveal so much.. Really? To me a real man, lets his emotions out there and doesn't play games, I let people know how much I care and love them. Maybe its not a good idea , But its how I roll and its scary to say I like you , or I love you and fear if that other person feels the same way. But you know sometimes you don't need to hear it. You can feel it in their eyes , or facial expressions. To me , Acton's speak louder than words,, LIKE you share something and that person gives you call to make sure your ok. or they say they will pray for your peace of mind.. Or if they give you advice or books to help you deal with your pain..When a special someone sees your hurting they make every effort to make you feel comforted, no matter if people are watching.. Its natural it feels right!! But we get caught up with perception,, Well you know what who cares what others think.!! What matters is what you feel , because its you that makes you happy. I know I used to ask people what they think>? But guess what everyone has different points of view,, Whats important in life,, is how you feel about that person..?

Like :
Does that person care and love me as me..
Does that person do things because he or she wants  to?
Does that person take time to check on me, via text ,phone call email,, etc,,?
Does that person respect me and honor me?
Does that person treat me like a person and not as sex object?
Does that person show a authentic and honest side of them? 
Does that person make you feel good and special
Does that person have unconditonal love?
Do they surprise with thoughtful gifts like treats , or cards or foods, when not prompted.. ?

In other words, does that person give you the attention and love you deserve? To me if I found someone like that , it would make no difference if that person is engaged or has a boyfriend or girlfriend. because that's what ana engagement is all about its about finding out if your match, Don't commit to to someone if its not true, I know I was engaged back in the day and it was long one, Why? Because deep downside I knew it wasn't really meant to be,, But because I said we are together .. we must make it work. But as time went by I realized that the differences or what we had wasnt enough to overcome the love I had for another woman. That's why we date,, because we want to see or feel a connection. It just a part of life. But many of us are so scared to open up , because we have sensitive egos that can cause us to crash down. We all know when we crash in a relationship.. its the most painful thing to bear , I knowm I Have crashed many times and each time it hurt more than the the next, because we tend to exaggerate the pain we feel. So as we get older , wiser or less bolder , we tend to step back and not take chances,, But don't you think marrying someone you don't really love just hurting yourself and your life. That's no way to live or love. To me , take that chance and let the chips fall where they may fall. I mean , isn't life a big gamble, ? Why let time or ones own happiness dictate what to do? I know but society or people , family will put so much a shameful feeling on you? But don't you think the shame in your in own eyes is a pain you  have to feel for the rest of your life.Because in the end.. Its up to you and that special someone .. if they make you happy , who cares what mama says. or your bestie says.. Bottom line ,, its all up to you to do whats makes you happy and many of us , are to scared to love , and let our true feelings known. Because we fear what society , says , we fear what our families says? we fear what our own egos are telling  us. But in the end.. The only want hurting is you.Because you let that special slip away , because you were too afraid to say I Want you in life.despite .. the mistakes I made..despite the issues i may have? That's what many people do , they rather settle foe the safe thing than go after the true love of their life.. Like I said I don't blame people feeling that way.But if you can be happy settling for the second best than your better than me.. Because to me.. I want to the best things in life .. I will never settle for a rebound or second best. When I see something.. I take care of it. I never take them for granted and if they shun me or try to make me quit,, I wont.. Because by standing the test and trials of a relationship , it shows you will be with them forever.. Its a rare triat and anyone that has found that special bond with someone?/ Your a fool to let such a connection go, I know.. I made that mistake in the past and it has haunted me to this day,, So now that I feel it again.. I made a promise to myself I won let that happen again with out letting them know how I feel, its something i owe to myself and to them. For that special someone,, you know its been tough to think i could walk away ,,because I have thought about it alot,, I'm thinking I will be the better man and let you figure things out. But my feelings wont allow me to walk away.. Its very rare to really connect with someone at so many levels and believe me I always think its just an infatuation , anew flame, that always feels good.but as time as gone by. I know that the bond we have developed has been like no other , and if you don't feel the same way,, Then your a liar. Because your eyes and actions say otherwise.. But like I said many people are scared to commit .. because its scary to say I want you , I love you and lets make it happen.. The past hurts always play havoc on our hearts and minds.. and that's why people are scared to love.. 
  Lesson learned, if you love something you don't walk away , you don't play games , you don't take them for granted, you keep them in your lives. Its tough to make that hard choice , because the fear you failed , or the ego makes you think your a bad person To me, a bad person is someone that denies their true happiness because they are afraid what society , what family or what thinks... ? Be true to those that are true to you. I really think if you think and live it. You cant go wrong. By having faith in yourself.. is one the toughest things to have because we all let ego and pride dictate what we need to do..Do you follow you heart? Or do you let your mind decide whats best for you. For me, Happiness is so hard to find, and if you find it with someone,, take it and if hurts the people in your life , so be it, Because if they truly love you or they really care about your happiness, they will let you find it. I always people your happiness means alot to me. Whether its me or someone else,, Its a tough pill to swallow , but time , experience and wisdom is why I think that way. Its a difficult thing to do , but if your looking to fulfillment in life, One must allow others to do what makes them happy. For me I enjoy being alone at times . Because i got o have my me time.. To exercise , to write , to socialize,, Its a complicated thing for me. Because I like to pursue my hobbies like writing my blogs. But I also want to share my life with someone that's not afraid to tell me. Its you that I need. Like I said Actions speak louder than words.. Let your happiness in your stay strong and may you find the peace of mind we all yearn for in life. Don't be afraid to take a chance of on someone that is making all the efforts to please you..because denying your self your true happiness is the saddest thing I can think of happening in anyone life. Life is meant to lived with no fear. Not allowing yourself that happiness you deserve based on what society or family thinks , is a sad commentary that will hurt everyone involved,, lets hope and pray they both come to their senses and let the their love true love develop and live the life they both deserve and want. May God Bless everyone and May you find the happiness we all desire,, ..
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